Women Are Better Than Men : Self-Evident Truth
A reader wrote in response to Why Are Women Better Than Men?
As someonee famously said, “If you gotta ask, you ain’t never gonna know.”
It’s a matter of belief, as Mr. Dunkenefield observed. Women are better because they are intrinsically better. Every male knows that, in his heart of hearts. All the macho posturing to the contrary is just so much bluster and bu*t. How manay times does the truth have to be repeated?
Mistress would be quick to point out that the reason men don’t understand this fundamental truth is that they are only men, so they lack the inteelligence to see it.
People have foolishly said many things.
The claim of self-evident truth can be used to justify hate crimes, totalitarianism, religious intolerance, all manner of bigotry or evil. And if “Mistress” were to say anything so foolish it would be anything but a proof of her superiority.
Desperate Mistress Housewives
By Lane Wisteria
Ever wish one of the ladies of Desperate Housewives was in charge of your life? Who’d be your pick?
- Teri Hatcher as Susan Mayer - sexy but too scatterbrained
- Felicity Huffman as Lynette Scavo - smart competent, carries her weakling husband
- Marcia Cross as Bree Van de Kamp - very controlling
- Eva Longoria Parker as Gabrielle Solis - hot, impulsive, demanding
- Dana Delany as Katherine Mayfair - Bree light
I vote for Bree, she likes being in charge and doesn’t tolerate slackness.
Mommy Says I’m Inferior
Malevolent Matriarchal Moms
Mistress Mommy
A reader writes:
I AM A SUBMISSIVE MAN,AND I SUPPOSE THAT IS WHY I HAVE NEVER BEEN SUCCESSFUL WITH SINGLE GIRLS.THEY WANT REAL MEN,BUT THAT’S NOT IN MY NATURE.I ACKNOWLEDGE WOMEN’S SUPERIORITY.BEING ONLY CHILD MY MOTHER MADE ME AWARE OF THAT
Now that is a pretty horrific image of motherhood isn’t it? Puts me in mind of the character who wanted to Train Male Children to Be Submissive.
I wonder if his mother really did that to him. I have known of children who were subjected to just plain awful treatment by the ostensibly gentler and more nurturing sex.
Homophobia and Male Submission
Not a Real Man
People share the damnest feelings on some of my sites - don’t read that as mocking the poor soul who wrote:
I am homosexually inclined to ever be a real man.the sight of the female genitalia,to be polite,have always troubled me,as the sight of the naked female,generally.the male nude though causes great eroticism in me.i wish to be punished by a lady,for my ladies toilet voyeurism.this was my revenge on those girls who had originally treated me cruelly.at a time,when I did not realize how gay I could be.in other words,when I thought I could still be a real man.those young ladies,soon showed and told me otherwise,of course.i wish also to be sodomized by a lady.as I feel the need to be humiliated for failing to be a real man.and homosexually I have not yet reached the stage when I would bend to another male.
I know there are men who have a fetish of being told they are gay. A fair portion of online ProDommes address their fans as fags to feed this kink. Including one that I admire. I flinch, bite my teeth and skip it.
Now the fellow above is probably bisexual and unable to cope with the same sex portion of his sexuality. Is attraction to men makes him feel guilty and as he says “inferior.”
This reinforcement of the dirty, dark cliché that gay males are somehow less manly than the heterosexual variety disturbs me deeply. The mainstreaming of queer folk proceeds apace. But it will be a very long time - if ever - before it is say for many gay youths to be open about their sexuality.
So, while I’ll not condemn any man’s sexuality - you can’t control these things - submissive male homophobia saddens me profoundly.
Mistress Sarah Palin
By Dr. Glenn Beck, Ph.D
Sarah Palin is a conservative Republican - that proves how smart she is.
Sarah Palin is a powerful woman - she runs an entire state.
Sarah Palin proves women are the superior sex!!!!
Sarah Palin will become the first Matriarchal President of America! Men will finally be put in their place!
I will work for Sarah Palin’s campaign. All men should do so.
I wish I were lucky enough to be able to serve Sarah Palin. Wash her dishes. Iron her clothes.
I want a Mistress Wife who is just like Sarah Palin!
Woman Worship as Idealism
I’ve had in the back of my mind now how notions of female superiority can be thought of as idealistic. People do want entities, personalities they can admire, worship. They create that most famous figment of the imagination, God. And become the devotees of men who can kick and through rubber objects across fields.
I myself can see a certain beauty in the idealization of the feminine, in woman worship. It is a romantic - in both senses - beauty. But beauty really isn’t truth, sad to say.
Some of this began with the literary genre courtly love. And what really was courtly love. Rich and powerful people Christianizing sexual frustration and adultery. King Arthur was a cuckold. Courtly love was a form of culture produced for entertainment. Powerful men could hardly let politics and military affairs languish while they tried living their erotic fantasies.
In later times a woman’s imagined purity was directly tied to the idea that women weren’t as intellectually capable or emotionally strong as men. Really it was a pedestal of inferiority.
I like the feelings of woman worship as much as anyone. I’m guilty of liking the pleasure afforded by lending a false luster to people to whom I’m attracted. And in the form of female supremacy it makes for great homemade porn.
But idealizing even the best and brightest is always a mistake. It demands they be who they aren’t. Being out of touch with reality is one of the most common sources of misery afforded the bourgeoisie (poor people need food and health care).
And if you project the imaginary construct of female superiority on a woman you care for you do her a great disservice. Women like to be seen as who they are, not as men fantasize them to be.
Enjoy these feelings as an imaginative act if you will. But don’t forego clarity and actuality.
Femdom Fetish Art & Photography
A couple of my other kink-themed sites:
Female domination - illustrations: Femdom Artists
Fetish imagery - including some femdom photography: Fetish Pop Culture
Darkside Goddess Kali
The Service of Mankind Church of the Darkside Goddess Kali calls itself a “religio-erotic gynosupremic” community.
This is the female supremacist fantasy carried to its nuttiest extreme:
We believe that wars, severe natural disasters, famine plagues, and the general suffering of innocents can be avoided by appeasing the Darkside Goddess by our rituals of male atonement for the sins of all mankind.
To end earthquakes, typhoons and presumably poverty and roadside litter men must be made to “to endure hardship, torment and abasement.”
Interpretations of the Kali myth apt to startle the most inventive Hindu theologian.
Sexual Guilt
Some Weird Sin
A woman writes an advice columnist asking:
Q: After 27 years of marriage and great sex, my husband still feels guilty after he orgasms. Why does he feel this way and is there anything I can do?
Her Husband Feels Guilty After Sex
She replies that the man may be suffering post-coital tristesse:
All well and good, but in another study they concluded that prolactin works like a thermostat to shut off our desire, our appetites, and therefore the exciting, revved-up drives that make us try to satisfy them. So you get dull as a worm and your spirit flees.
Most dishearteningly!
The more satisfying the sex with a woman, the duller you get.
I don’t recall having had a second of sexual guilt. Feelings of erotic sinfulness are wholly alien to me. But I gather that this post-orgasmic guilt is more common than I could have ever suspected.
A fair amount of what some submissive men want strikes me as being rooted in guilt. Though shame might be the most apt word. And it surely would fuel feelings of ‘malesub’ inferiority, female superiority.
I don’t draw any conclusions from this. Yet.
Dominant Women : Do They Exist?
Real Female Tops & Sadists?
I saw the question posed on some F/m website, URL forgotten: actual dominant woman out in the real world - strictly creatures of myth and fantasy?
Certainly there are women who enjoy exercising control in their romantic and sexual relationships. Female dominance is uncommon but not nonexistent. Submissive females - in the BDSM sense - are also uncommon. Regardless of power exchange orientation there are fewer kinky women than corresponding men.
Why aren’t there more female tops? Some mix of evolutionary psychology, gender specific biochemistry, socialization. As social norms continue to loosen women who have buried dominant inclinations will come to discern them. And with the diminution of stigma more women will engage in S&M and D/s.
Many submissive guys lack the social skills, mother wit and capacity for self-expression that would cause a female top to become interested in them. The seeming invisibility of dominant women is partly a product of male practice.
Control
Power Exchange Basics
Submissives of any gender are often incredibly controlling. That said, I think it is helpful to think of the control side of power exchange as a spectrum, in which “control” can be more finely parsed out into two parallel lines or scales: (a) the desire to _exert_ control and (b) the desire to _feel_ controlled. A position on one scale does not preclude any particular position on the other scale: for instance, it is possible to have a high need to control, *and* a high need to _feel_ controlled, all at the same time.
For some, (a) and (b) are polarized (high need to be controlled, little need to exert control, for example, or vice versa). For most people, though, I think where they fall on this scale is widely variable but will tend towards the middle ground.
If you accept this model for argument’s sake, then any given “submissive” could obviously well have a high need to exert control, as well as a need to feel controlled.
Seems to me the trick to finding a dominant partner for a person wired this way, is that they must find someone *more* controlling than they, who (also) has overall less of a need to feel controlled than the titular submissive does. (For if the dominant in fact needs to feel controlled to an equal or greater extent than the sub: well, that results in the “you’re not as dom as you said you were!” or outright switching scenarios, or may be most generously read simply as one person getting to know themselves better. As in, “I thought I was X but I really like Y better.” Which applies, of course, to any orientation in the power exchange.)
Male Submission — is it possible
Maledom vs. Femdom
Ahem:
Now, clearly it *does* matter to some people whether the person who’s dominating them is male or female, and the question is, why? Is it only because their sexual preference is one way or the other? If so, then again there should be just one domination, and anything that was valid for male domination would be valid for female domination, for the most part.
Intuitively, I don’t feel this is true, but I’m a horrible test case. Still, at least one person has looked explicitly at this question, and produced a short article on the difference in *style* between female and male domination. (I think his nick is “Master Kinx.”) As well-written as it is, though, it’s only one viewpoint. I’m interested in what people on this newsgroup think are the major *inherent* differences.
This is a complex question; there are lots of possibilities and issues to consider:
- Take heterosexual relationships: maledom/femsub on one hand, and femdom/malesub on the other. How do “typical” approaches differ? How are they affected by the presence or absence of simple vanilla sexual desire? (People and relationships being what they are, there is bound to be a huge amount of scatter, so any distinction will be of course very general and very broad.)
- Take malesub relationships: maledom/malesub vs femdom/malesub. How do *these* differ, assuming the participants are homosexual in the first case and heterosexual in the second?
Sample Slave Contract
Slave contracts are controversial. Some naïve kinky folk take them too literally and seriously.
It would be a mistake to base a D/s relationship on a contract. But many couples find the explicit statement of expectation, boundaries - the “rules” - genuinely helpful.
Below is one of the standard BDSM slave contracts that has been floating around for ages, probably predating the web.
Real Dommes Don’t Switch
Switching is Inauthentic
A switch is a person who enjoys being both dominant and submissive and/or sadist and masochist.
Many silly, foolish, idiotic people - mostly submissive males - say that a real dominant woman can’t switch. That if a woman can enjoy submitting as well as controlling she’s a fake, phony domme.
From a very, very long discussion of “real femdom:”
I’ve gotten so sick of being looked down upon as ‘not a *real* femdom’ because I also happen to have a masochistic streak. Part of the pleasure I take from switching, too, comes from the sense of *balance* it gives us. All the responsibility for making our sex life exciting doesn’t just rest on one of us. I don’t get feelings of guilt for being the dominant/sadistic one, because I know I can take exactly what I dish out. I just take it less often.
And, oh yeah, it’s fun.
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