Do You Care If a Man is Your Boss?

Question: male or female boss?

I’ve been woefully negligent in using this site to address themes facing women. Possibly because in the distant galaxy I come from women are people.

Even if you aren’t sexist, heterosexual female dominance can be colored by gender qualities. If only so very faintly.

Does your desire to dominate men – even if just in the bedroom – affect your feelings about the gender of your employer? If their virtues and values are equal do you can whether your boss is a man or a woman?

Originally posted 2008-12-21 10:38:04.

D/s and Love

Bondage, S&M, Power Exchange, Romance : Labels & Confusion

Femdom Love, Play S&M, D/s

D/s is not the same as love, neither is love the same as D/s for me. They can be connected, but don’t need to. It all depends.

To become clearer about the notions (and therefore also the labels): love in itself is a feeling and a state of mind, IMO. In comparison, D/s and s/m rather can be means to *express* this great feeling of loving someone else. Depending on the context, *both* can serve this role pretty well.

Apart from the fact that D/s and s/m are really basic (often sexual) needs for me – like being hungry, for example – in a relationship context they can also serve as means to express one’s love for someone else. In such a context, they often are something going into the direction: “Look, my love, what I’m ready to endure for you!” Taking them in this sense, D/s is mostly covering psychological aspects (breaking out of traditional role models by serving and submitting to a woman, standing social pressure, getting humiliated, being objectified, and so on), while the s/m part is rather covering physical ones (enduring pain and being physically strong for her, but also showing a strong will, which is not only physical, I have to admit). I hope you get what I mean, otherwise I could easily elaborate on it.

So for me, especially in a relationship context, D/s and s/m are only two sides of one and the same medal, namely to please a woman by enduring something for her, breaking out of several limits – one time with regard to the mind, the other time with regard to the body. By the way, I’ve once read on Akasha’s web site that bondage is one of the most basic things for her, while she added pain (physical) and humiliation (psychological) much later. Also for me, bondage always had been something very basic, my earliest fantasies were almost entirely related to it. She even is telling us that she probably could renounce of pain and humiliation completely.

I often asked myself for the reasons, but now it’s becoming more clear to me, perhaps: it’s because bondage is all in one, so to speak! It’s covering both aspects: the physical ones (think of the struggling, the aching joints, the tight rope hurting skin …) *and* the psychological ones (helplessness, fear, developing a desire for her because she’s unreachable …). Maybe this also explains why so many people like to start a scene with bondage games.

What I’d say though is that D/s often isn’t as much “primitive” and frightening as s/m, because it’s easier to bring D/s into direct connection with love, since it’s closer related to behaviour in traditional vanilla relationships. But it’s not exactly the same as love, though. Like I said, it’s only a mean to express love, like s/m can be, too. That’s also the reason why I wouldn’t think of s/m only as play. It can be as real as extreme sorts of D/s can only be role-played.

(From usenet ten years ago.)

Originally posted 2010-11-09 10:33:38.

Self Acceptance

Bad Woman

Some women struggle to accept their desire to dominate. Those feeling are much less likely to afflict dominant men. And perhaps some women need a few moments reflection to understand that a submissive male is not necessarily a spineless wimp that she’d never want in her life.

Even more often are initial feelings of guilt as they begin to discover and explore their sadism. Pleasure in inflicting pain contradicts the popular images of woman as empath, nourisher and healer. Surely wanting to hit your boyfriend or husband with things is just plain evil.

But by various means – bless you – many of you step past the social stereotypes, are able to more fully realize your sexuality and make happy the men who need you.

Originally posted 2009-01-05 13:07:49.

Penectomy Better Than Chastity?

Not by me. Left elsewhere as a comment on Cut Your Cock Off.

femdom penectomy
Typical Rubex Illustration

I have been permitted to make this comment:- As a permanently chastised companion – my lady doesn’t like the word slave – I would – if I may – fully endorse the idea of penectomy for permanently chastised males provided there are not medical reasons preventing it. Chastity devices have their limitations and are uncomfortable.

This discomfort is useful for showing the slave the permanence of his situation and the futility of resistance to his total submission but once he is completely conditioned and submissive penectomy would be a complete and final finish to his enslavement. From then he and his mistress can get on with their life-style.

Castration is not the preferred choice compared to penectomy since penectomy retains “sexual desire” that castration removes but both are as permanent – the unrequited desire is what makes the slave totally submissive in a way that castration does not.

The methods often employed are that the urethra is retained although the remainder of the penis is removed and relocated behind the scrotum for sit-down peeing – or that the the penis is simply cut off at its base with a small tube inserted into the urethra to permit peeing during healing.

This latter method can be problematic – infection control and /or bladder control as the penis helps with bladder function.
Two methods I submit would be worth considering are 1: Where the removal at – or near – the base is preferred a metal tube be inserted into the urethra and a elestorator band be placed on the penis so that it crushes onto the tube as in castration but still permitting peeing whilst the penis dies – it could then be removed later with the band and tube. 2: That the same approach be employed but only the head be removed – making the penis far less sensitive – then a small light weight chastity tube be permanently fitted onto the penis stump thus removing the ability for any sexual activity with minimum interference to bladder control.

Lastly I would respectfully urge all mistress to be strong in their will-power once such a step is embarked upon but be kind and gentle – but firm when necessary – to their slaves once this final step is taken – reminding the slave that all of this is for his own good within their lifestyle.

Thank you.

Originally posted 2011-04-20 07:17:51.

Are Men Happier as the Slaves of Women?

Do enslaved men actually feel safer and more secure under the control of their Mistress?


Are men happier as slaves?

Is it because the Domme relieves the male the need of making decisions since she decides everything about his life?

Is his serenity derived from accepting that he is an inferior creature and has found his place in the universe as the property of a superior woman?

Will gynarchy give men a peace they can never experience as free agents?

Should Men Be Required To Remain Naked At Home 24/7?

Requiring a slave man to remain naked indoors at all time has a strong psychological effect. Nakedness makes a man feel vulnerable. Vulnerability reinforces humility.


Some men are ashamed of their nude body. A slight smile on a woman’s face can seem derisive and mocking.

With or without a male chastity device the man’s testicles are available for a quick swat when the man needs to be disciplined.

Should the visibility of male genitals be found objectionable or disgusting a tiny apron can be used to conceal what he may consider his ‘manhood.’

Do you think enforced male nudity – when possible – is a useful tool for keeping men humble?

Lifestyle Total Power Exchange or Nothing At All?

Have you ever noticed those personal ads that say something like:

I want a 24/7 slave. Must be completely willing to obey all orders at all times.

Real slaves only. No fakes, part-timers, scene players, phoneys, fake slaves, wannabes, Your goal must be to please me with no thought for yourself and nothing else.

I am real. UB2!

And how they have the same ad running five years later, there account is active and they are still looking.

Even though there are bottoms advertising:

I am a real slave and masochist. I want a Lord and Master who will teach me true and total slavery. I will have no rights and ask for no pity or compassion. Train me and use me for your pleasure. Abuse me and hurt me. I will be nothing and you will grind me into the dust.

Your future worthless dog slave.

Ads like that run forever as well.

Why don’t they get together?

Because they are propounding what for most people is unlivable. And as long as they cling to these hopeless extremes of M/s lives they’ll stay single. And they seem willing to do so forever.

Is this a sane choice?

Originally posted 2014-02-21 18:05:31.