I’ve often enjoyed reading roo-roo who obliged me by writing the following:
My biggest obstacle was making progress against my shyness. (can’t say I’ve overcome it though.) Just walking into the first munch was a nerve-wracking experience……….but well worth it. (on the way to my first munch, I was screaming the Oscar Meyer Weiner song in my car, to try to calm my nerves.) Before going to the munch though, I looked at their website and e-mailed with some basic questions, like what people normally wore to these things. The person I ended up talking with was very friendly and understanding, and even asked to meet for coffee before I went to a munch, so that I’d at least know one person there.
Once I started getting into the conversations, people were naturally curious about me, and asked questions. Uncomfortable, but expected. This is one place where being yourself is really important. If I’d taken the clichéd approach of “I’m submissive, so I’ll do whatever you’re into”, well, that’s just plain boring. And very fake. We’ve all got interests and fantasies, and it’s important to be open about them if we expect to live them. None of us are mind readers, whether dominant or submissive. Just because someone is a dominant woman, that doesn’t mean we’re compatible.
I’m honest about not being into protocol, ritual, structure, etc. These things are pretty popular among dominants…..but I knew that if I pretended to be into them, not only would I feel like a hypocrite, but I wouldn’t be happy in the relationship either. Online, it’s common to see weak, obsequious, sniveling little twits who think that being that way impresses dommes. Invariably, there are a handful of online dommes who will go for this type. Being that way in the face-to-face world won’t get you far, though. Doormats attract abusers. Coming across as too eager to please often reeks of desperation. If you have a life, if you’re confident and strong, these are the qualities that many dommes find interesting. We are all equals until we agree to some form of power exchange, and I treat everyone as such.
One thing I continually keep in my head is that I’m deserving of respect. Many subs forget this. They think it’s their “place” to be treated badly or to be unfulfilled, since it’s supposedly all about the domme’s desires. Bullshit. An unhappy sub won’t stay around long; our desires are equally important. I let this be known early on when there’s someone I’m interested in. If she agrees that equality and d/s don’t have to be mutually exclusive, that’s a good sign. This can even show up in little things. For example, if a domme cuts me off in conversation, why should I tolerate that? It’s rude, and I deserve better.
Seeing dommes as actual people (and expecting the same from them) is a must. We’ve all got faults and weaknesses. In a loving relationship, I expect to be accepted as I am. Of course, I give the same. If someone loves you, they accept you. This is important to keep in mind. If a domme tried to turn me into something I’m not (behavior modification) then that’s a way of saying “you’re not good enough for me, and I want you to be someone else.”
I also realized that finding someone shouldn’t be my only reason for getting into the scene. I’ve made lots of friends there, and continue to have lots of great times with them………not to mention casual play with friends. If I’d ignored (or been cold to) everyone who didn’t seem “useful” to me, I’d be very unpopular.
About the same time that I got into the local scene, I started looking into forums online. What I found shocked me. There were so many people, domme and sub alike, who had totally unrealistic, overly idealistic expectations. All “real subs” are expected to be into TPE, do all the housework, and do all sorts of things they don’t want to do. That might work online, but being miserable in a flesh-and-blood relationship just isn’t a way I want to live. A lot of people, mainly online, take a “more is better” approach to submission. Isn’t personal satisfaction more important than playing subbier-than-thou? Submission should cause joy, not agony. We’ve all got our own particular style of submission; it took a lot of introspection and experimentation to find my way.
Here’s the analogy I often use: When I give a woman a single rose, I expect some sort of gratitude……..not a big showy display, just a genuine show of appreciation. If she said “That’s it?? Where are the other eleven?”, then she’s not someone I want in my life. This is how I view submission. I don’t have to sacrifice my whole life in order to be submissive. We each give what we give, regardless of chosen position, and it’s important that our gifts (and our selves) be appreciated.
So overall, I try to keep all these things in mind. Keeping that attitude affects my actions, and everything else sort of falls into place. It can be hard to have the confidence to say “this is who I am, and if you don’t like it, then move on.” But if I didn’t do that, I’d be going from one lousy relationship to another. If someone doesn’t accept what I give, too bad.
There is an element of luck as well; even if someone does everything perfectly, there’s no guarantee they’ll meet somebody compatible.
Originally posted 2010-12-28 23:59:27.
Who Do You Want to Spend Time With?
Before seeking to find someone who might be interested in meeting you a person interested in female domination and male submission should think deeply and clearly about what they themselves are seeking.
- BDSM Hookups (One Night Stands)
- Regular S&M or D/s Play Partner
- Dating that includes BDSM
- Dating that is defined solely by F/m Roles
- Marriage that includes some D/s
- Marriage rooted in Female Domination
- 24/7 Total Power Exchange
Are you just looking for a sadomasochistic quickie? Then you should locate the nearest munch group and become well enough respected to be invited to play parties.
Are you just looking for someone to explore risk aware masochistic and sadistic play with? See the above. Though either can also be found with an honest personal ad.
Is power exchange something you want to explore only in an erotic context? That it is part of but not the defining force when you date or want in a marriage?
Do you want some sort of Female Led Relationship? What do Loving Female Authority, FLR, Wife-Led Marriage mean to you? She’s the boss and you have less rights than a 1950s housewife? Or that she is the senior partner in the relationship?
Do you think that you are seeking a TPE or “lifestyle” marriage where the wife is absolute dictator and the husband has no rights? Do you believe, say, in female supremacy? Do you really? Are you sure?
Many women and men when they begin searching for a friend, partner or mate do not take the time to discern within themselves what they actually desire and are capable of offering. Are capable of living.
Before you put yourself in the dating market make sure that you know what you are trying to sell.
Originally posted 2012-05-12 10:14:47.
Is it from passivity, indifference or nervousness that some submissive men don’t make email exchanges with a prospective dominant more of a dialogue?
This is the email version of a bad first date. When one person does all the initiating, and the other person just talks about themself, and shows zero interest in asking questions or finding out about their date.
It is really annoying.
Why do I keep finding this with submissive partners? Have other femdoms found this to be true? Do other femdoms *like* it this way, do they like to just offer what they want, and do all the asking?
Granted, I do like to be the interrogating, but when it comes to building a relationship of sorts, I want the person to be honestly interested in who I am — ask about my hobbies, what I did with my day, what makes me excited or sad, what I am doing at my job.
Zero. Zilch. No questions.
My rule is to give it about 7 emails, then say it isn’t working. Often the guy writes back, dumbfounded, because the email exchange has been
fruitfull, the emails have been long, and he probably did not suspect a thing. I explain to him then that the interest seemed one-sided; I did all the asking, and he did all the answering, and he did not seemed interested in my life, or what was going on with me. Sometimes we patch it together after that; most times, he just goes on his way.
Complete thread: Are submissives less likely to ask questions in emails?
Originally posted 2010-12-30 03:41:29.
This essay focuses on the approach and perhaps ultimate “courtship” of a female Dominant, by submissive or subservient men. It targets points of acceptable and appropriate behavior (manners) towards a Domme. It is of course, written from a Dominant perspective, and based on my discussions with numerous other lifestyle Dommes.
Much of today’s formal “etiquette” originated in the French royal court during the 1600-1700′s. This code of behavior soon spread to other European courts and eventually was adopted by the upper classes throughout the Western world. In general, etiquette was developed as a means of breaching differences to allow communication from a common starting point.
It is my opinion, that of all the relationships in the D/s community, the one between a Domina and male submissive, most closely mimics the conventions and protocols of a more formal era; perhaps that of the Victorians. In the 1800′s, a young man could not speak to a young woman he knew until she had first acknowledged him. If the lady was not known to the man, then a “gentlemen” expressed his interest through a third party introduction or a formal written request. Socially acceptable activities included chaperoned public and family functions, which may or may not have led to private visitations. Conventions of protocol were strictly adhered to. Men bore the scrutiny of relatives or other interested parties and were more than ready to demonstrate their worthiness as a “suitor.” (Sound familiar?)
Whether the ratio is 1:10 or 1:100, most people will agree that there are many more submissives than there are Dominant women. These numbers based on “supply and demand” alone, work against a submissive. Competition is fierce for the attentions of those Dommes who are in “circulation.” The process of finding a Domme can be likened to a job search, with several hundred individuals submitting their resumes and credentials, and you, the applicant must stand out from the crowd. If you are seriously searching for a female Dominant partner, start thinking of ways that you could make yourself appealing to her.
To put it simply, we want to be impressed; to be made to feel special … and ultimately “courted.” Material possessions, a high profile career or even an exceptional education do not necessarily impress us. However, I have yet to meet another Domme who is not pleased by a submissive who is honest, self-assured and polite. In addition, intelligence, a sense of humor and a genuine desire to submit, are highly sought after qualities.
In keeping with that, it is helpful to know some rules about how to behave in certain situations, if only because this makes life more comfortable for you and makes you more self-confident. A submissive that ascribes to the following basic rules of good behavior and demonstrates a measure of social grace, may find the quest for a compatible female Dominant, somewhat less challenging.
1. Be honest. This pertains to any information you share or representation that you make of yourself. It includes, but is not limited to the basics of marital status, through to your expectations (in a partner and within the D/s lifestyle), experience level, fetishes and kinks (if they apply) and your limits. Don’t make a Dominant or anyone else an unwitting co-conspirator in something that could be an act of adultery, unsafe, insane or non-consensual. If you approach a Domina whose needs and desires are different from your own, accept those differences, do not try to manipulate her into changing her standards. By the same token, do not go against your own principles. Bottom line, don’t lie. If you are found out, word will quickly spread that you are a dishonest “player” and this can brand you permanently as untrustworthy. We “network” and most experienced lifestylers talk to each other (this very fact can also work in your favor if you are known to be a respectful, well-mannered and a genuine individual).
2. Have self-respect and be confident. Strong and submissive are not contradictions. You may think that sitting quietly with your head down shows that you’re a true submissive. Actually it shows that you’re boring. If you want to meet a Dominant woman, you have to attract her attention. If you don’t value your submissive gifts, why should she? If you are very shy get a friend to introduce you and perhaps initially stay around to keep the conversation going. You don’t have to throw yourself at a Domme’s feet to attract her attention. Act in a way that gives a Dominant confidence in you, your abilities, desire to submit and sincerity. Present your best qualities, without being conceited. A sense of humor can always serve you well under these circumstances, and at the very least, remember to smile.
3. Conversational skills are important. Do nut succumb to “submissive frenzy.” Having just discovered your innermost need and desire, you feel compelled to announce it to anyone who will listen. Pull yourself together! Approach a Dominant politely, with confidence, and a sense of calm. Introduce yourself, make some small talk, and then go away. Do not give her your complete resume; “My name is Jack, I’m 30 years old, I’m a submissive, I like blah, blah, blah, blah, will you play with me?” You’ll just come off as a desperate jerk. Conversely, do not play the doormat expecting to be swept off your feet with witty repartee, but contributing nothing. As in any setting, nothing is more boring than talking to someone who doesn’t have anything to say in return. And, “Yes, Mistress,” “No, Ma’am.” and “Ooh, I don’t know,” can grow very old, quickly. Find out how a Domme likes to be referred to (Madame, Ma’am, Mistress, Lady, Ms, etc.) and address her that way, but, appropriately and sparingly. Be patient and allow the natural process of rapport building to develop.
4. Develop patience. It can take some submissives years to find a compatible Dominant partner. Just as you have the right to be choosy in selecting a partner, so does the Domme. Do not pester her because you find her interesting. Treat her with respect and courtesy. Just because she is Dominant, does not mean she is under any obligation to use her talents in the Dominant arts on you. Impatient and pushy submissives don’t get very far with Dommes. If a lady rebuffs your advances, or does not respond to them, take it with dignity, do not respond rudely. There is no need to badmouth or disparage a Domina who has turned you down. Doing so, will simply earn you a reputation of being impolite. If you want to leave a lasting, positive impression, thank her for her time and consideration and ask that she might keep you in mind for the future.
A point on sending notes or letters of introduction. A lack of a reply can mean two things (1) the Dominant in question is overwhelmed by requests, and yours was lost due to volume; or (2) it means “Not interested.” A short, polite follow-up note thanking her for reading your letter, may garner you a response. If not, give up. Do not send further mail, or make unwanted calls, whining that you haven’t gotten an answer from her. At that time, take non-response as a “no.”
5. Do unto others as you would have done to yourself. Would you walk into someone’s home without an invitation? Would you randomly select the phone number of a stranger, dial them up and open with “want to have sex?” Would you walk up to a woman in a bar and say “Hi I’m Mike, I’m kinky, let’s get naked”? Common sense dictates that you wouldn’t. In today’s computer age, why would you behave differently online? The rules of engagement should be and are the same as in any other social or business setting. No one owes you his or her attention.
The advantage of this medium is that through profiles, homepages, other postings and participating in chatrooms and newsgroups, you can often glean some insights about an individual, before approaching her. Avoid two common mistakes. First, do not approach a Dominant who is not interested in the same things you are. Second, don’t send a request for submission to every Domme in the Western world. As stated before, we network. And for the record, spelling and grammar do count.
6. Be open about your knowledge and experience within the D/s lifestyle. Being a novice, and admitting it, is not a bad thing. We all started somewhere. Acknowledging a lack of experience may be a wonderful starting point for forming a D/s partnership, if you find a Domme interested in training. Conversely, if you are experienced, you may be a wonderful teacher to a novice Dominant, or be able to parlay your knowledge into a common ground for communication. But, do not overstate or understate your knowledge. Do not disrespect a Dominant by assuming you know what is best for her, or assume you know what she wants to hear.
7. Be informed and know yourself. Before you declare yourself as a “submissive” be sure you understand what it is you are offering. Dominants are not libraries, nor are we therapists, counselors or social workers. It is not our job to tease apart what your desires, fetishes and kinks are. There is nothing wrong with having fetishes and acting on them; but know what they are and what it is you are looking for and are realistically able to offer. Educate yourself, put some work into determining who you are and what it is you are so willing to give. Our role is not to define your desires and limits, but to work within them, expand them and explore beyond, WITH you.
8. Lose the attitude that this is “all about you.” It is not. For many (perhaps even most) our chosen role has very little to do with sex, and relates to a power exchange between two consenting adults. Actually, we usually couldn’t care less about what you demand that we do. If you approach a Dominant with a “What can you do for me?” attitude, you’re going to be laughed at. Do-Me submissives are selfish, controlling, and annoying. Being pushy, rude, rash, or overly forward with a Dominant, you will most likely lose you the chance to ever partner with her. Dominant women are not public utilities; just because a woman is dominant, does not mean she is YOUR Dominant. If you’re just interested in yourself and what you want, please do us all a favor and go pay someone to play-act with you.
9. Be discreet. It’s unfortunate, but most people need to keep their interests in female domination and other alternative lifestyle practices private. Most people would prefer that their family, friends, coworkers, and neighbors didn’t know about their interests and activities. Unless you know that the Mistress you met at a club or play party, is out of the “closet” do not approach her in a vanilla setting and address her by her scene title, or fall to your knees in an act of worship or deference.
10. Have realistic expectations. Dominant women range from ugly to beautiful, just like women in general. As a matter of fact, just as men, in general. If looks are really that important to your happiness in a scene be prepared to look for a long time, or be willing to pay a professional who has the looks that you want. While you are at it, take a long hard look in the mirror and ask yourself if you are really worthy of such expectations yourself. You’ll have better luck finding a Dominant if you concentrate on her personality and skills. Think of it this way: If you’re blindfolded, and in ecstasy, what does it matter what she looks like?
11. Proper decorum once accepted for a private meeting includes, being polite, punctual, and well-groomed. I want to stress the importance of personal hygiene…fur on the teeth, dirty fingernails, greasy hair, and other unmentionables … are no no’s. *Please* NO intimate gifts, such as panties or stockings, until you are actually intimate, we may be open-minded but we expect to be treated like ladies. You may bring flowers, if she likes them, but red roses are inappropriate for a first encounter. Perhaps, take a walk together; maybe get coffee, and even lunch together. Then you stop! Go home! Send her a note of thanks for the fine company, perhaps call on the phone to ask if you may visit again, and leave it up to her. If she doesn’t encourage you, give up!
Let’s assume though, that you were charming, intriguing, and she wants to see you again. This means you are in the “running.” It does NOT mean she owns you. You probably still have competition for her attention, so keep your best foot forward. Getting to know a Dominant woman goes in degrees, at a pace dictated by her needs and interests. If at first you don’t succeed, do not get discouraged. Ultimately practice will prepare you for meeting the right partner.
Remember to use common sense, maintain perspective, and be polite. No one owes anyone else his or her dominance or his or her submission. Patience and a sense of humor are definite attributes for a submissive. Lastly, never forget that you too may discover that the Dominant is not to your liking or standards, and you always have the right and option to withdraw from any phase of the relationship. After all, ours is a lifestyle of mutuality, safety, sanity and consent.
Attributed to Ms. Erika this essay appears on many websites. To date I’ve seen no copyright statement.
Originally posted 2010-12-28 13:35:44.
Despite the necessarily tentative nature of what you can really know about online friends it is impossible for me to imagine Ms. Darlene MacComb settling for second best in a husband. You might remember her story the next time you are feeling fedup with online matchmaking sites.
About 8-1/2 years ago I placed a little free ad on the Adult Friend Finders website under the S/M or Kink (or whatever it was) section. I had grown very tired of trying to find my soulmate through conventional methods and after being alone for several years (refusing to settle for second best) decided to risk it. I did recieve several replies from noncompatible people (guys, couples and other women even though my ad stated single males only).
I was living in a small city of about 60,000 in the southwest and Simon was about a two hour drive away in a small town of about 9000. Its mind boggling that we were so close and never would have met had I not placed that ad and had he not replied. We did the usual e-mail, chats, phone calls for a few weeks and then he came to meet me. I was immediatly impressed on numerous levels and while the ultimate nature of our relationship was not established initially, I knew he was the right one. We moved to Santa Fe, got married, bought a home and have now been married for over 7 years. I feel extremely fortunate and thank God every day for the love of my life. As this is just a short testament to online dating/relationships I won’t go into details about the cuckolding, beatings, humiliation and such.
Her blog: Punished Cuckold Husbands
Originally posted 2010-12-29 03:40:11.
Dept. of Malesub Fantasies
A masochistic man left a comment on one of my sites. He recounted being beaten by a -forgive the word – fat woman in her fifties. Her own relish in her sadism was all he needed for his own happiness.
He contrasts sharply with the men who state that they are looking for a beautiful dominant woman. Presumably a female whose glossy symmetrical exterior would win her place in the pages of Maxim or Playboy.
I’m not going to chastise these guys for their narrowly channeled lust. I suspect the confinement of their desires leaves them more chaste than wearing a CB-6000 might. Perhaps their sexual orientation leaves them unable to have any erotic experience – even being whipped – with anyone other than a hot woman.
If you are a man who has decided that you’ll submit (cough) only to beautiful, conventionally sexy dominant women I hope you’ve looked in the mirror.
Do you look like Hugh Jackman, Zac Efron or any other man celebrated for his sex appeal? Would the editors of Freshmen offer you a photo session?
If not: why do you expect a gorgeous woman to find you her object of desire? Hmmm?
If pinup level looks is a fixed requirement you’ll need to consider hiring a professional dominatrix. Caveat: most of the ProDommes you see photos of are models. They don’t do domination or sex work at all. So you may have to travel a considerable distance to find a professional dominatrix meeting your standards. And she’ll expect you to pay a very hefty fee.
Originally posted 2012-10-06 06:35:04.
Read the Profile
One of the lables that might be applied to me is bisexual switch (though I’m primarily submissive and masochistic nowadays).
Years ago I was advertising for a submissive male.
My profile / personal ad was fairly long. It specified the qualities that I desired in a male bottom. And the attributes that were unacceptable.
I wrote that facial hair wasn’t something that I would accept. Naturally guys with beards wrote me without making any offer to shave.
With that particular ad every male that wrote me did not match my specifications. But told me that they were exceptions to the rule.
What they told me was that my desires didn’t matter. Their so-called sbumissiveness should rule.
I’m a pretty flexible person. One of the reasons I can be a pretty decent submissive male. But the men who responded to my profile were too demanding to give me an opening in which to be flexible.
Too many of you don’t understand cooperation much less submission. And you don’t offer dominant persons anything to desire.
Read the ad. If you don’t fit then don’t write.
Originally posted 2011-10-07 07:22:53.
A short extract from an essay by Laura Goodwin:
Not all, but certainly most of the heterosexual dominant women I’ve known want a guy who’s got a lot on the ball. They want to be impressed, and BTW, they want to be made to feel special: to be courted. Sub males have a slightly different script to follow when courting a dominant woman, but it’s not *that* different. …
It is important to be honest about your strengths and weaknesses, if she asks, but keep a *little* mystery, will ya? Don’t dump your whole life story, especially in your first conversation/letter. You are trying to get to know her a little, and let her get to know you. If you get a clear, unmistakable sign from her that to her you could possibly be more than a friend, _and_ if you like her, *then* you turn on the charm and do your darnedest to win her over.
Lots of men and women who meet through ads or S/M support groups make the mistake of rushing off to have dinner together. This is wrong. First, take a walk together. If that doesn’t quickly become tiresome, then you may get coffee, even lunch together. Then you stop! Then you go home! Send her a note of thanks for the fine company, call on the phone to ask if you may visit again, and leave it up to her. If she doesn’t encourage you, give up!
Whole essay: Courting A Dominant Woman
By Mistress Evils
Every day that I’m online, I am accosted by a bevy of HNG’s (Horny Net Geeks) who idiotically assume that, because I’m a dominant female, I must exist only to get them off and play-act with them. Sheesh! It’s beginning to really piss me off. I got so fed up that I decided to make a long list of complaints/advice about how to talk to Dominant Women: how to behave and succeed in actually impressing Us. Read at your own peril. Tremble in fear if you recognize these inferior qualities in yourself, and take this as your queue towards a little self-improvement.
1. It’s a pain in the ass when HNG’s who want nothing more than to talk about their fantasies, their desires, what their erection-guage is reading, what they need or want in a Dominant Female, contact me out of the clear blue AND THEY EXPECT US TO ACCOMMODATE THEM ON THE SPOT! If you are a sub male, you NEED to start realizing that this dynamic is NOT ALL ABOUT YOU; Femdom is about HER NEEDS, HER PLEASURE, HER CONVENIENCE… and YOUR ability (or lack thereof) to accomodate HER. Hate to break it to you, but there are a LOT more male subs in the world than there are Dominant Females, and if you, as a “sub” are clearly interested solely in your own gratification — know that if you won’t tow the line, there are plenty of others who will gladly do so. Remember We don’t *have* to talk to you — conversing with Us is a privilege and should be revered as such. You want someone to get you off? You want someone to give you instant gratification? Go to a professional who can be paid to deal with your one-sided bullshit. Buy a blow-up doll. Ask your *wife* (you know, the one that “doesn’t exist” when you’re playing D/s games with online strangers) to give you a cheap li’l thrill.
2. BE PATIENT!! Do you know how many HNG’s we Females have to fend off before finding *one* worthy conversationalist in the lot? I’ll give you a hit… a whole bunch. Sending someone an IM every 30 seconds (“r u there?” “r u there?” “hey, u there?” “guess you don’t wanna talk.” “still there?” “helloooooooo?” “:( ” ) is NOT going to make her respond any faster. Lack of patience does not get you far in the Femdom world.
3. Chatting with me = MY opportunity to question YOU, not the other way around. I have all of my vital information contained within my profile (as do most smart Dommes); if you are smart, you will have read Her profile before contacting her, and will have decided that you *want* to talk before even contacting Her. It’s easy to see who HASN’T read it (like when you start asking questions that are already answered within it — shame on you) and We’ll probably not bother with you any further. Our time is precious and I loathe repeating myself, so a show of respect is appreciated (actually, required).
4. Stop asking Us for pictures — practically EVERY HNG that I talk to will ask, beg, plead for more pictures! Some Dommes don’t mind a request like this if you *get to know them* first — but for goodness’s sake, don’t just expect it like you’re on the VIP list. Simply put, I enjoy my anonymity, thus I’m not willing to show anything extra to random strangers. Asking once will get you a polite “no,” but asking twice will get you permanently ignored and totally laughed at.
5. Stop asking Us for ANYTHING that We refuse to give: pics of various body parts, cam sessions, phone calls, playing with total strangers IRL, online “collaring.” Some Dommes may be interested in these things; I am not. Repeatedly making the same requests over and over, expecting/convincing me to change my mind, “aww come on” type statements, attempting to trade/bargain for them, or passive-aggressive pouting in the face of a polite “no” will get you nowhere with me — it only makes you look like a manipulative asshole.
6. Be respectful to your chattin’ buddy. The minute you start trying to cyber with me (or be inappropriate in any other way) is the minute I laugh at you and click “ignore.” Hell, I may even include a link to your profile from my blog. With enough people, I could get a really fun “Wall of Shame” going here!
What We DO like… Honest, decent humans who like to exchange ideas and advice about the scene and technique. Friendly folks who understand what common courtesy and respect mean. People who respect Our rules and Our privacy… as We respect those of others.
Don’t like it? Don’t chat.
From The Domain of Mistress Evils: Etiquette for Chatting With a Dominant Woman