There are a myriad of qualities to want in another person.
What are the top three things you look for in a submissive male?
Thinking of dominant women what are the top three attributes you look for?
When you imagine yourself in a female led relationship do you think of yourself as her slave?
Or her submissive male (husband, boyfriend, whatever)?
Some people attach great significance to these words, particularly because slave is thought to imply a deeper commitment, more surrender.
What would you say are the greatest barriers to successful F/m relationships (any kind). In general, in your own life? Do you have plans, strategies or hopes for overcoming these?
She’s the boss is one of the most frequent comments left here. I.e., she’s the boss and it is OK for her to tell me to do anything regardless of consequences, ramifications and how you feel about being told to do whatever.
In that case she’s more than a boss and has more authority that most real life kings and queens have in history.
When men present their wife or girlfriend as Dictator-in-Chief I suspect them of just being wankers. They are off in some hot hormonal fantasy and not a real female led marriage, relationship or love affair.
Couldn’t she just be the senior partner?
F/m as Lifestyle or Play Style
Guys:
Do you want a woman to totally subjugate you (ala Elise Sutton) or simply a bedroom dominatrix (Dominant Divas)?
Gals:*
Do you want to regulate a man’s life or limit things to tease and denial and other kinky fun?
Or is there some mysterious middle ground?
( * My first and probably last use of that word.)
Seems that the old female-led-relationships.com discussion board has been abandoned. Though I hadn’t taken a look at it for some time my impression was that the forum enjoyed fairly healthy traffic.
Anybody know what happened?
What values do the words female led relationships to living and discussing passion and living arrangements with the woman on top.
How distinct is the term female led relationships from the word Femdom?
In both the most common form of address for the woman is Mistress.
The males most often speak from a perspective of subservience (not that I’m suggesting there is a problem with that).
In female led relationships female superiority is often assumed or evoked. In Femdom I’d wager to say that anymore that is more likely to be used by a ProDomme who knows what her customers like.
Female led relationships seem to often by used by married men. Within female domination in the larger context folks may ‘just’ live together, be friends or strangers who play together at fetish parties.
I see no sign that female led relationships are healthier or constructed and developed in ways superior to those who prefer Femdom.
The most visible proponents of the allied phrase loving female authority – an inherently more appealing and attractive phrase – as I recall are unhappy cuckolds.
Will the phrase female led relationships last? Is it of distinct and unique value?
Something that often struck me when I was reading the FLR themed blogs was how often the woman said that she’d never entertained the concept of ruling her husband until he introduced it.
Understandable. Liberal humanists tend to think of pure gender equality. Socially traditional people want the male to be an aggressor. And fundagelicals like Mike Huckabee think the Mrs. should submit herself to the Mr.
Another proof that lust keeps the world spinning on its axis. Much better to accept that than to pretend we are genital-less Ken and Barbie dolls.
The language of some submissive guys when they talk about female led relationships at times makes me think they want their wives and girlfriends to be mommies.
It is rather as if they are harking back to childhood when their mother made them dress properly, be polite and to a large degree managed their lives for them.
I was on the edge of using the word maternal but I don’t think that is the proper term (in this instance), no more than it is boyishness.
Rather it sounds more like a license to be immature and force someone else to be the decision maker. If I were a woman involved with a man like that I’d find the burden of omnicompetent vigilance over another person draining.
(And this of course excludes couples that enjoy mother / son play.)
Looking for – or to be – a mommy?
That BDSM is ever so slowly coming out of the closet should be good for young submissive guys. Munch groups and fetish parties should prove venues at which they can finally actualize their erotic need for submission. But even in kink the tendency is for the lowest common denominator, the most banal and venal impulses to find expression.
Too much of fetish venue subculture seems to aim for the male to convert himself into machine for fulfilling cliché desires. Demanding that men master oddball minor skills is as rotten and silly as expecting dominant women to conduct life in PVC and leather.
I have to confess that part of me wants to see heterosexual men exploited by women in the context of “ha ha, you deserve it!” But even if they are hostage to their hormones they should have better. Really they need to experience miserable submission if they are going to wake up to reality.
Since most dominant women will never attend a fetish party and remain ignorant of the stereotypes - other perhaps than things they are averse to - a submissive man should seek to become more keenly aware of womankind, humankind, in general.
You may see yourself slaving away from sunrise to sunset. She’s probably thinking of someone who is fun to be around. A guy who wants to be bossed about 24/7 is pretty damned time-consuming.
Well … that makes ordinary time spent with the beloved sound awful. Those quiet times should be as good as any other. Submissive guys read porn and imagine it is all whippings, cunnilingus and being caged. Really it is hanging out, listening to music and being affectionate.
What special skill do you need? Being an agreeable human being. There will be many hours between whippings and clothespins and most will want to spend them pleasantly.
Once you are in a power exchange romance you’ll find - as we all do - that the real skill is in coping with the tedious, ordinary hours. And that coping with the quotidian is the greatest challenge and skill of them all.
Look for a dominant woman to like. Maybe to love if you are lucky. The submission is a given. Pleasure in her person will fill in all the details.
See also: The Lifestyle
Is there a woman in the public sphere who you subjectively feel - even though you can’t really know - embodies the qualities you most wish to have in a woman who dominates you?
So, how many of you have gone out on dates where the female determined everything?
The venue
How you’d spend the evening
Perhaps she even paid the check and picked up the tab
People commonly adopt resolutions at the beginning of each year.
If you don’t have a female led relationship what are your plans in the coming year to achieve one?
If you are in a female led relationship have you given thought on how you can make it yet better?
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