Female Led Relationships

Given that women are most often thought of as nurturers I’m surprised that in female domination - at least the imaginations of submissive men - they often take on the quality of psychosexual vampires.

Surely that wasn’t how the guys saw their mothers?

I suspect this begins in the early or mid teens. When the hormones kick in and the difference between what the body wants and most people can accomplish becomes oppressive. It is in the male’s teenage years that he is apt to develop such weird and un pleasant images of womanhood.

Perhaps - in a general, not just F/m sense - the greatest reason to hope our society eventually matures in the handling of things sexual.

I read that Gloria Brame said the professional dominatrices are a plague. I guess like the locusts Moses sent against the ancient Egyptians but in this case money making women devouring the fields of femdom.

I can’t imagine Gloria Brame making a generalization like that. Besides the place where I saw the remark provided no context, no all important details (not faulting the person).

I doubt many people engaged in BDSM or the like - since many people abhor that acronym - regard say Mistress Matisse as a ravaging force. Not to mention SadoMasoKitten and other women who dominate for cash (and perhaps fun).

Regardless of the annoyingly necessary disclaimers professional dominatrices are sex workers. They provide a service for remuneration. And all service providers of any stripe can be divided into those who are:

• Ethical
• Dishonest

• Talented
• Capable
• Incompetent

Perhaps what Gloria was thinking of is the rapid spread of women who go online and declare themselves dominants. Most notably the money mistresses and financial dominatrices who are under the illusion that easy wealth will be theirs if they say “ha ha wanker” often enough.

While Princess Melissa Pentauk at Humiliatrix may use that sort of patter there’s more hard work than many would think in successfully creating such an enterprise.

The faux-dominants who think putting up donate buttons is an easy path the money will quickly find that getting someone to click on them isn’t just plucking a sucker. The women that stay in the trade and profit by it provide a good deal more.

People in the loving female authority subculture have other objections to professional dominatrices but that is a matter for another time.

Ok, I know from your comments you guys are veritable saints of male submission. You wouldn’t dare have an impure or selfish thought. Your only desire ever is to please.

Um, yeah …

Is there any article of female attire that seen on the right person in the right context that makes you feel giddy or aroused or even more submissive? A minor clothing kink (or even a major clothing fetish)?

Usually they look so sour. Of course she is probably just a hired model.

The Czechoslovakian entertainment complex-cum-hotel and faux matriarchal police state and major source of Femdom erotica, OWK, has probably stimulated more female domination fantasies than anything else on the planet.

If you have the cash you can actually go there and spend days being beaten, degraded and used as slave labor.

If you could afford it would you visit the OWK?

Is a Bitch Goddess what you really want?

Some woman who will make you bleed and scream?

Leave you whimpering and begging?

Crushes you under foot and laughs at you?

And do you stop thinking like this after you’ve masturbated?

Pushing aside lofty talk and pompous sentiments: there are women who enjoy hurting men.

They like to give pain to men who want pain. Even if they enjoy giving the man pain he cannot (at the time) take pleasure in.

Do you relish women who are sadists? Does their consensual cruelty excite you? Keep you awake at night with a lust for torment?

Or do you find consensual sadomasochism distasteful?

F/m as Lifestyle or Play Style

Guys:
Do you want a woman to totally subjugate you (ala Elise Sutton) or simply a bedroom dominatrix (Dominant Divas)?

Gals:*
Do you want to regulate a man’s life or limit things to tease and denial and other kinky fun?

Or is there some mysterious middle ground?

( * My first and probably last use of that word.)

You’ve found what seems like the dominant woman of your dreams.

One evening she tells you that nothing would excite her more than to make you suck another man’s cock.

This repels you. Does it also excite you?

Would you comply?

Would you refuse if it meant that a relationship otherwise satisfactory in all respects would end when you refused her?

Drawings and painting portraying female domination. Some of us are – or have been –determined collectors of it.

I suspect most people like Sardax’s refined, fantastic and smug young women. I’ll own to be a Sardax admirer though I do wish the men didn’t always look so damned miserable.

Bill Ward, a cartoonist who turned to BDSM when his income from other sources dwindled. I used to be a fan of his extreme and unlikely drawings of women abusing men. Then my lover at the time pointed out how awful those women’s faces were Killed most of my interest in Bill Ward’s drawings.

Gene (Eneg) Bilbrew (Van Rod) produced a huge amount of D/s and S&M themed drawings. Some remain among my favorited.

John Willie – famous for Exotique and Bizarre drew some very cute dommes: girlish sadists. I like those.

Jim Bishop’s black and white illustrations of men in bondage remain favorites even though I know my body could never handle some of those contortions.

And I have a terrible weakness for Kami Tora’s anime style drawings of cbt.

Giko, Hata Deli, Laurent Lebeau, Bernard Montorguel, Jack Rhodes, Steffi and so many others have rendered drawing of women dominating men over the decades. Some had a specialty; others drew either whatever was ordered or fancy suggested.

Perhaps you have a stash of F/m artwork that excites you.

Is that something you enjoy? Are there artists you are fond of, some whose work you despise? (There no denying the incompetence of some.)

Do you need for a woman to be of outstanding physical beauty before you can allow her to take control of you?

Probably not, at least from what I know of you who comment here. Or at least you don’t think so.

But I’ve certainly heard from men who consider ample breasts, a slim waist and a handsome face absolutely necessary.

While I don’t deny the necessity of physical ‘chemistry’ I suspect many of these guys are very likely to remain alone and frustrated.

Putting aside fantasies, what role, to what degree does physical beauty play a role in your hopes and expectations for a female led relationship or marriage?

People sometimes leave comments on blogs that purport to be true accounts but are really just fantasies.

Not long ago one man was repeatedly leaving variants of the same submissive daydream.

The poor fellow claimed to be not only enslaved by his wife but his daughters as well.

I hope I’m a tolerant man. But the desire to have your daughter make you kiss her shoes and whip you with a belt strikes me as morbid. Especially when the person seems as desperate as this man. It is a rare instance of a submissive male fantasy that makes me feel the person needs counseling.

Do you think that I’m being unfair?

Nina Hartley is an adult film actress and producer known for creating adult movies that appeal to women.

One of her videos is Nina Hartley’s Guide to Sensual Domination No. 1 - How to Dominate a Man DVD. I’ve never seen it but wonder how useful it is to helping inexperienced women explore female dominance.

If you’ve seen it please leave a comment.