Female Led Relationships

There was the movie:

… when the friends discover the joys of sexy older women, they turn their passion into a hot business. Pairing young men with older, sex-starved women proves profitable –

…

You must be ready and willing to accept this reality if you are going to get romantically linked with an older woman. This is not to say that you will be asked to deal with these issues per sé ; rather you must realize that an older woman generally has more to worry about than that bushy-tailed co-ed at your dorm

Pros & Cons Of Dating Older Women

My idea of a cougar is a 40+ woman that has it going on and is a player. It’s an experienced woman, who is sexually confident, but all around confident in general.

Cougar Definition

Seems normal enough for F/m.

Are you sabotaging your quest to meet a compatible dominant female?

Do you focus your attention on sleek and voluptuous women who look like fashion or lingerie models? Are you confining your search to only the most conventionally sexy sort of dominatrix hottie?

Is it that your submission can only be offered to the most physically beautiful girl? Without a perfect, high-gloss finish that you can’t feel submissive?

Or do you restrict yourself to such unlikely standards are an excuse for failure? Does it wound your ego less to be rejected by beauty than by a woman is as nice to look at as you probably are yourself?

Why would Angelina pursue you if you don’t look like Brad?

(MyBlogLog shows this to be the second most popular page on this site.)

That the “Mistress / Wife” isn’t sufficiently demanding and bossy or enough of a disciplinarian is a common complaint among men in the early stages of attempting to establish a female led marriage.

This is inadvertent honesty. If the woman doesn’t want to be more than so assertive, controlling or punishing and the relationship is all about her pleasure then what could be the complaint?

The reality is that the submissive husband wants his jollies.

There’s no shame in that. But it is hypocritical to say it is all about her when it is at least as much about you.

Be honest that dominance and submission has to be mutual to work. The truth will diminish confusion and minimize feelings of hurt and neglect.

Unable to establish an ongoing real time relationship with a dominant woman some men participate in cyber female domination. Some of these relationships are very passionate and sincere. Though, of course, some guys are as fickle and faithless in the virtual life as in the flesh.

Have you ever considered an online only romance with a nonprofessional dominant woman? Even if you didn’t succeed how did you go about trying?

Have you done so? How did it work out? Is it still going on. If you are married or have a vanilla female lover does she know?

Naturally since female supremacist Elise Sutton is credited with creating the term any site dealing with Loving Female Authority must make reference to her.

Quite possibly Sutton is the most influential woman in the history of female domination. Her book Female Domination was the first widely available work on what is often called Femdom. (Though some would say that the best thing about the book is the Sardax cover.)

Sutton attempted to validate her espousal of female superiority through the use of anecdotes, sociological speculation and dubious bits of history. Aping scholarship without achieving it.

At the time of the books release Female Domination was a great awakening for many women (and a source of countless fantasies for even more men.) Commentary on her second book has remained skimpy.

Since many dominant women find her depictions of female domination and male submission not very loving her influence has waned in recent times. Works by Janet Hardy, Claudia Varrin and Midori - aside from authors of leather and general D/s texts - provide more appealing and useable examples of power exchange within romantic partnerships.

Doesn’t this strike you as about the silliest advice ever?

While you may not be able to convince the woman that you love to engage in a female on top power exchange relationship you might manage to persuade her to play.

Kinky erotic games are appearing more and more often in the mass media. And the depictions aren’t always unfavorable.

Your girlfriend or wife may be able to enjoy you kissing her feet, giving you a light spanking, maybe even wrapping some rope about your body.

But if – like religious fanatic who has just been converted – try to completely change the basis of your relationship and how the two of you live together you probably won’t get anything but a miserable mate.

There’s nothing wrong with play, don’t be a bore or frighten her. Talk to her about having fun.

Some F/m blogs make me giggle. Here’s an example from one wanker who has been writing about it for years but never meets a woman:

For example, if you are in the produce section of a market, offer to push her cart. Offer to select some oranges for her if you are knowledgeable in this arena. Find some expertise within yourself and offer it to her gently; gently and with discretion. We all find ourselves in supermarkets, gas stations, and car washes. Develop skills that address these potential meeting areas and more. Be ready for real life. Be ready for your moment. A Dominant Lady will appreciate your savvy, social acumen, and offerings.

Sounds plausible to some guys I guess. Sounds like a pest to many women I’m sure.

Loving female authority?

What if we call it loving male submission?*

You say “But that is what I’ve always wanted to offer.”

Is it? Do you keep the loving part in your mind and what being a lover and loving someone entails? Do you never get so lost in images of male surrender that you forget the total equation, the whole picture?

Sure, some of you think - at least believe you think - that you want a woman to treat you like trash? But do you really expect her to be a garbage collector?

* Or female submission: this gender stuff can be a pain.

On an abandoned FLR blog I ran across these “Ten Commandments for a husband in a Female Led Marriage” …

1. Dedicate your life to my happiness and give me your uncompromising devotion.
2. Put my pleasure, my needs and my wishes before your own and never grumble or moan about it.
3. Obey my rules willingly and obey my commands immediately. Treat my suggestions as orders.
4. Never argue with me. Give in to me in all things. Submit to my will and to my authority.
5. Devote yourself to serving me, both in the bedroom and without.
6. All chores that need to be done at home are your job unless I decide otherwise.
7. Ask for my approval before doing anything, going anywhere or spending anything.
8. Listen to me attentively when I speak to you.
9. Confess all your transgressions to me and never, ever lie to me.
10. Request punishment when you deserve it and willingly submit to all punishments that I apply.

The list was written by a male, not a female.

How do each of these strictures strike you? Are they just and fair? Are they too demanding? Can you imagine yourself seeking to live up to each and every one?

Within the BDSM community slave contracts are a common topic. Many have been written. Some quite bad. And nobody knows how many such contracts have been lived up to.

Within the perhaps less kinky and demanding realm of female led relationships should both parties perhaps craft some set of rule and regulations? Written statements of the roles including obligations both male and female have?

Such formal agreements could be considered a second set of wedding vows.

The real danger with such summaries, like many attempt at regulation is in unnecessary specificity, cumbersome complexity. But some may benefit by establishing boundaries clearly at the beginning. And any contract can be amended.

Earlier: Interspousal Agreements.

I’ve seen it said that as one of the main goals of female liberation is met there be more female led relationships.

I.e., that as women and men are able to live as socioeconomic equals more women will come to be or - or accept that they are - dominant in their marriages, romancing and dating.

I could also imagine it argued that as the sexes become social, political and economic equals some of the forces that make some men submissive and others dominant will diminish.

Reader, what do you think?

The last century saw considerable decline in sexism and the hindrances that gender clichés and gender role stereotypes. Particularly in the final three decades. Not that there isn’t still a huge amount of progress needed.

Female domination seemed oddly behind the times in many ways: a cultural wasteland of sexist generalizations. Funny in a sad sort of way.

Submissive guys minds are often full of PVC clad dominatrices and high powered, suited female executives.

Does this stop you from realizing that the woman to take control of you may be wearing t-shirt and jeans and working in a shop around the corner?