F/m as Lifestyle or Play Style
Guys:
Do you want a woman to totally subjugate you (ala Elise Sutton) or simply a bedroom dominatrix (Dominant Divas)?
Gals:*
Do you want to regulate a man’s life or limit things to tease and denial and other kinky fun?
Or is there some mysterious middle ground?
( * My first and probably last use of that word.)
Originally posted 2008-03-04 12:38:17.
While I’m not familiar with the “Elise Sutton” approach, I’d have to experience it to know if it was for me or not.
I do know I’d like more than just kink in the bedroom, to be with someone who’s comfortable with me serving her outside as well…at least to some point.
I’m somewhere in between the two, as are most others I know. I don’t want to be with someone who is a total control freak; I’ve got my own life. I can’t be with someone who prevents me from living it. On the other hand, I look for more than a vanilla relationship with occasional play.
Axe,
It is really quite wonderful – albeit surprising – that you don’t know of Elise Sutton.
It’s all about that delicious middle ground. 24/7 is too much like work. But, I don’t want to stop being the dominant that I am when I leave the bedroom.
I’ll take what’s behind door number 3. For me female domination (AKA the bedroom dominatrix) is definitely a part-time fantasy gig.
However, the relationship that Mrs. Mule and I have is full-time. In many areas of this relationship, she is the leader.
“Led” is the key word in “Female Led Relationships.” Mrs. Mule has a great leadership style. In the “real world” others look to her for leadership, so why shouldn’t I? It’s not about dominance and submission. It’s not about anyone being totally in charge. It’s about setting a course and having someone follow it.
I like the middle ground, I prefer to role play mostly however even when not role playing to have a woman sometimes off teh cuff just slap me or make me do something for her is fun. I have no interest in being a full time slave ala Elise Sutton though.
i love 24/7 all the way. why lift a finger around the house? sub-husband does ALL the work while i do anything i please.
I guess (?) we are somewhere inbetween. I can, in theory, make Joscelin do whatever I want whenever I want, as long as it doesn’t interfere with his job or other work (like school or whatever). In practice, I have to be sensitive to his schedule and needs.
The idea that we’d only do kink in the bedroom is OK with me but disheartening to him. It makes him feel misunderstood and not valued for what he really is. And since I find it convenient and sometimes hot to do the 24/7 thing, that’s what we do. But that doesn’t mean I am ordering him around or controlling him 24/7 – it just means that I can (subject to various limits).
How does a male with total serious intent to obey find a woman who is interested in the female led relationships that passive men like myself seek so dearly? I placed an ad on craigslist and got one semi interested reply. An ad in Yahoo personals and nothing came my way.. Does anyone have any ideas where I can find a combatible Woman who will use me for all I’m worth and be the loving bitch she can be? I love assertive women who make me don in women’s attire and humiliate me. Why is it so hard to find a person like this?
Ally
Have you tried CollarMe.Com or a paid membership at Alt.com?
What kind of profile have you written. You might look at http://www.femdomdating.com
24/7 Definately. Not “wearing a collar kneeling at her feet” the entire time. It’s no 24/7 Bondage scene, our FLM is a real Marriage, two people making a life together. I wait on her hand and foot at home, and she knows she *can* abuse me or make me do anything she wishes at any time, but that fact is she LIKES being nice to me, and my happiness matters to her as well. It’s all about how she feels at the time, which she can only do because she has the freedom an FLM affords her.
play in bedroom only
i just found this site. Had I only known about this when i was first married in 1963, my life would have been much better. i am now separated and it is all my fault. had i given my wife the financial control she desired and i refused, had i treated her with the love and respect she deserved, had i led her into total dominance (she would have been good at it as she is naturally dominant) had i killed my own ego, i would not be this lonely old man still in love with a woman he wronged. it is too late for me.. damn! any men out there reading this, get with the program. SHE IS THE BEST THING YOU WILL EVER HAVE.
My preference is a traditional gender role reversal that shows itself in the clothes. The dominant female looks hot and female, long hair and all, but she is dressed in short black leather jacket and mean tall boots over her jeans. In the house, she lets the man wear a dress, or a pink g-string or walk around naked, and she makes him do the household chores and treats him like a submissive slut or even a doggie if she wishes so. Her control and his submission is total.
Its a life style for both. She is superior and the man knows it.