The language of some submissive guys when they talk about female led relationships at times makes me think they want their wives and girlfriends to be mommies.
It is rather as if they are harking back to childhood when their mother made them dress properly, be polite and to a large degree managed their lives for them.
I was on the edge of using the word maternal but I don’t think that is the proper term (in this instance), no more than it is boyishness.
Rather it sounds more like a license to be immature and force someone else to be the decision maker. If I were a woman involved with a man like that I’d find the burden of omnicompetent vigilance over another person draining.
(And this of course excludes couples that enjoy mother / son play.)
Looking for – or to be – a mommy?
Originally posted 2008-02-04 06:56:32.
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I have known women who are type A personalities and have to be in charge of everything. I also met a lady (when I was in college) who was in her 40’s that couldn’t have children, wasn’t married but had a strong maternal desire and dated me for a short time. She put me over her knee on occasion for a bare bottomed spanking had sucked on and bit my nipples 69ed me then told me to breast feed on her as she milked me dry.
A few years back, I saw an older (mid 50s, I was 38) woman who was somewhat zaftig, but in an attractive, nicely proportioned way and we played together on a weekly basis. She was in the process of finding her feet as top – she’d been spanked & done a lot of roleplaying with previous play partners – and really enjoyed spanking me, roleplay & teasing/humiliating me. However, our play time together almost always ended with us cuddling together; talking quietly, her caressing my warmed bottom, me kissing her, her neck, breasts, etc. And she came to describe this as “Mommy time.” I was a first sort of suprised/put off by this, as that isn’t a roleplay I’ve ever beem arosed by, but I came to accept the term and realized that it was just her way of saying that it was a time when she was going to treat me kindly after having been harsh to me previously.
This was my only experience with sort of thing and I did really enjoy the affection. For us there was no sense that I was helpless or a burden to her, rather I was supposed to behave well and do as told whenevver we were together and my reward was some tenderness as the end.
I think for males its the fantasy of never having to take responsibility or make a decision they like the idea of being a slave even to the point of cuckloldry as this means they do not even have to worry about staisfying their wife in the bedroom.
I do wonder how full time femdom can work really, unless of course the man is a complete wiomp.
I think submissives and women make too much of the concept of a FLR. It simply means that the male will obey the female, and the pleasure for the male is knowing that both persons know he must obey her, whether she ever acts upon that or not. I can’t imagine many women who wouldn’t utilize it when there was a disagreement, and many women would prefer that their husbands pay more attention to them, or listen to them, or would like to change some of his habits. In a FLR, she simply tells him to change them, and he does, and enjoys doing so. There really doesn’t need to be much in the way of her telling him what to do. They wouldn’t be together if they didn’t love each other. It would only be different in that he would always be required to obey her, if she wished it. I don’t see that as a major obstacle or problem in a relationship. She doesn’t ever have to require him to obey her. It’s totally up to her.
Most women would have no interest in such males, and it’s true that the male wants essentially to be deprived of the status of an adult, but tens of millions of women were quite happy for centuries, even though they had no more legal status than children, and were required to obey their husbands legally. Many women chafed under that, but many women didn’t, and not because they wanted to be children. Being a submissive male, I had no interest in obeying my mother, nor in disobeying her. I was just a normal child, but do have submissive desires, as do rare men and many women, and would enjoy being in a relationship where the female had control and I was required to obey her. Many men still dominate their wives. I see nothing wrong with a woman who controls the money and decides what will happen if the parties don’t agree. I don’t see it as a hardship for her. She doesn’t have to boss him around, and if he wants to buy something, she will almost always buy it for him. If she wants him to do the housework or cooking, then he’ll do it, but if she doesn’t, then he won’t. It doesn’t need to change her life at all, if she doesn’t want it to, and will eliminate conflict, since she will always be the decision maker if there is conflict. They will discuss the issue, and then she’ll make the decision. I don’t see anything wrong with that. Women often complain when a man spends too much time with his buddies, or wastes money on things. In a female-led relationship, that would never happen, since she would simply not permit it The whole point of the relationship is her happiness. That’s what makes the male happy.
A lot of the guys who take this approach seem to have very little self-control; this makes me wonder who would want to be in a relationship with someone who lacks such a basic control of himself.