Part of an entry I wrote on an old personal site over a few years ago.
We all have our moments of confusion, desires can be inconstant things. As a couple we’re full of simple love and we always strive to talk. So the uncertainties resolve themselves.
It may surprise some of you that I don’t think about dominance and submission most of the time. Life has many other needs and requirements.
Especially right now. When my libido flags, as it unkindly does at times, I lose my connection not just to my penis but also the joys of masochism and surrender.
Spooks me a bit. It as if something has been taken away from me. Suddenly I look at my desires with puzzlement. Only a little, I miss feeling them.
Makes me worry that she’ll need for me to become her slave and while I will comply my heart won’t be fully in it. She has a discerning eye for the depth and quality of my surrender however much I try to offer a simulacrum. I think that was a problem only once.
And one of the pleasures of our mutual exploration is that she has gained increasing insight into how to bring forth in me what she requires.
Really I can’t imagine a time when I wouldn’t happily lick her boots.
I’ve gotten sidetracked.
What I wanted to explain is that as much as I enjoy her taking me as her slave the thoughts that first come to my mind when I think of her return are often of other things.
Nibbling her earlobe, digging my tongue into her belly button.
I’m so very lucky to have found someone with whom I can share a full spectrum of experiences.
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