From looking at blogs and forums it seems that most men and women who write about female led, loving female authority relationships are married. Regardless of whether they are in such a relationship or wish they were.
The phraseology doesn’t seem to have much purchase among those in, say, college?
Is there a reason for this to be an age related desire? Why don’t you see boys and girls thinking in these terms and contexts?
Originally posted 2008-05-06 07:30:24.
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Older Wine for younger man
I think it’s less complex than others would make it. Being an older submissive male, I can only talk from my experience, although it’s so simple, there must be truth in it for others:
We played with power exchanges and things like that when we were younger, but then OUR sex-life took a backseat; we had children. Now that the “kids” are older and out of the house, we get to have fun with each other again and pick up where we “left off”.
Another thing to be said for older couples, after having spent years and struggled together, there is a bond of TRUST that I’d expect younger couples less likely to achieve. I can comfortably give everything I have and am to my wife, because I know she will care for it. A young couple (and God Bless ‘em) is RIGHT not to give that kind of trust in a relationship that hasn’t stood the test of time.
My wife and I are both well past our prime and we enjoy what little we do very much. She is slowly coming around to trying more things but its takeing time. I think we just relised after a certain age that life really is short and you only get one shot at it, so make the most out of every secound. I sure wish we relised this in our 20′s or 30′s.
I’m just talking about the people who use the terms “female led relationship” and “loving female authority.” I don’t think they are more mature than people who use Femdom or BDSM.
I think this is part of the maturing process. People who are attracted to each other are attracted on a number of levels. The younger a person is, the more prominent role sexuality has in the relationship.
As a person gets “older” other aspects of the relationship rise in relationship to sexuality. Unfortunately, many things get repressed in the process.
As someone once noted, “We do not stop playing because we get old. We get old because we stop playing.”
Sometimes we take ourselves too seriously. To laugh at one’s self takes a great deal of confidence and maturity.
As a 24 year old Domme (in a relationship, even) I can tell you the LFA stuff tends to turn me right the hell off because so much of it is not about being in a relationship with a man as it is being some sort of Mommy figure to a 30 year old boy, and using sex instead of ice cream to get him to do what you want.
Slave Bob does my dishes, not because I’ve used some sort of operant conditioning to get him hard when he does them, but because he knows it makes me happy.
Ummm………*raises hand* present.
I agree with you, maymay, especially your second paragraph.
I think this has to do with the fact that younger people are far more likely to understand the value of diversity and by their nature as explorers are less inclined to believe in all the extremist one-sidedness of the “Loving Female Authority” rhetoric.
We younger people look at that and we see narrow-mindedness, not sexiness. What’s sexy for us is the exploration of our desires in a way that allows us freedom to be who we want to be without upholding ideologies.
And speaking as a submissive guy with no strong desire to be anything else, I can say that the typical approach of LFA/FLR evangelists turns me right off. I think most other young submissive men would agree, but I haven’t really heard from enough of them to make that statement factual.
Speaking of which, where the hell are all the young submissive men?
I don’t think in those terms because to me they imply that she always knows better (or that I’m somehow less than her) as if I were some little kid who needs shown how to live. On top of that, all that terminology seems to have a connotation that the relationship itself is less important than the “authority” side of it; to me, the love comes first and d/s second.