Why Do Men Write Such Bad Personal Ads?
Female bottoms almost always write longer, more thoughtful personal ads than male tops. That isn’t the issue, just a parallel.
To a sad, almost frightening degree profiles and personals by submissive men are shorter - sometimes almost blank, less coherent and thoughtful than female tops.
Within the context of this note accept the premise and explain why men who claim their desire is but to please seem so often unable to communicate with the women they claim they want to serve and worship.
7 Responses “Why Do Men Write Such Bad Personal Ads?”
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I’ve written and rewritten my profile countless times on collarme.
I’ve been told that many Dommes don’t even browse because they’re too busy going through their many emails.
My latest profile is much shorter than my previous:
“I’m a tall, smart, funny, professional seeking to commit and submit to a lifestyle dominant in a long term relationship.
I recently moved to NYC from the midwest because I realized that I wouldn’t meet a Domme there. Yeah, it sounds nuts, moving to the city for a woman I’ve never met. It’s either crazy or very romantic. Or both.
I enjoy the “service” aspects of the lifestyle. Cooking, cleaning and protocols. I seek a Domme who wishes to explore a relationship a man who wants to please her outside of the bedroom. Also I’m very oral, a masochist and ultimately ache to please.
While my submissive side is a big part of who I am, it’s not all that I am. I have tons of great friends both in and out of the lifestyle. I enjoy politics, trying to get more informed about art, exploring this great city of ours and much more.
I hope this profile finds You well and if i’m not what You’re looking for, good luck on Your search.”
Is that bad???
That doesn’t sound bad to me.
Have you tried visiting any fetish clubs or parties?
Frankly, I think a lot of it is resignation. Writing good ads almost always leads to nothing for submissive men because even in alternative sexuality lifestlyes, women expect to be pursued, and men to be the pursuers. How do I know this? Experience, and because I think my personal ad (last updated in 2003) has proven ineffectual. Even with a good ad, I decided to add frustrated caveats to it because of the nuisance of dominants who expected me to feel privileged, or worse, to be paid for their time. Augh! (My ad below:)
Psmilth:
Hehe…yes..yes and yes yes yes.
Perhaps reading my blog will shed more light on my situationt:)
I like both of the ads posted here - Maymay’s and Axe’s.
I’ve responded to a few ads on collarme, but it’s never led to anything (so far).
I never bother to place ads or respond to them. I have tried in the past and either get no responses or time wasters. (I once got a response from a lady on a CFNM site and then when I went to chat to her on MSN she immeditaely showed me a photo of her naked! and this from a CFNM site!) I seem to find alot of women on normal chat sites, we chat about normal things and when the subject of sex comes up I mention my interest in pain or role playing (I never mention the term Femdom or BDSM to begin with) ssometimes they are curious or have had fantaises but have never tried anything. We explore the subject further by me asking them about what they have thought about or done etc. I seem to have more luck than trying to talk to cynical dommes on BDSM sites.
I’ve been a hiring manager in my career. As such I have literally seen thousands of resumes. People don’t know how to write resumes. I’m not talking about the poor spelling, the rambling unstructured sentences, the poor grammar and general lack of understanding of the English language.
I’m talking about the point of view. Too many resumes are “this is what I want” rather than “this is what I have to offer.” Even in the latter category, few understand the difference between confidence and cockiness.
The resumes that make the cut are those where the applicant gives me a good picture of who he or she is in addition to the history. I hire people; I don’t fill a slot.
I had an online discussion with a person about my hiring practices. He disagreed with them. His response was along the lines that I could rule out the best programmer in the world. I told him that I didn’t need the best programmer in the world; I needed the best employee in the world.
A personal ad is a resume. Yes, it’s about you. But it is not only about you. It’s about you and how you can relate to your prospective partner. Here is where being a creative writer helps. You need to be able to project yourself into another personality: the personality of the person reading the ad.
If you want to meet the domme of your dreams, try using the same techniques that work in job seeking: networking. Get known in your community. Make contacts with other people with no expectation other than to get to know them better. Participate in forums, respond to other people’s postings.
I’ve written a number of stories from the female dominant point of view. Because of this, some men actually believed that I was a woman (you can fool some of the people). I would get propositions. None of them were in any way effective due to the same reasons most resumes are not effective. Only in this case, most of them were flat-out crude.