Enforced Chastity Makes for a Better Man
Female led discussions of male chastity regimens of assert that a man who is denied orgasms is in some way a better man.
- He is more likely to perform household chores.
- He is more affectionate, attentive.
- He is more submissive.
Some report that post-orgasm a supposedly submissive male will become rude or lazy.
Bad behavior after an orgasm is probably stealth or even unconscious topping from the bottom. It insures that he will be returned to enforced chastity, which he really desires.
But that desire is likely driven by the wish to feel her authority over him. And the intimacy of wearing a - CB6000 say - is a tangible form of control.
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July 16th, 2007 at 4:03 pm
If chastity genuinely changes the sub’s behavior, I have to question why. Is there bad communication between them? Is the sub trying to manipulate her into being more dominant by acting bratty when he’s allowed orgasm? When submission comes from the heart, chastity won’t change who you are.
July 29th, 2007 at 8:51 pm
Orgasm is a pleasure and privilege for submissive men. Enforced chastity is nothing more than a ‘tool’ for the dominant to use to regulate and control when he is rewarded.
-john
July 30th, 2007 at 11:48 am
Hello John,
I have no argument exactly with that perspective. My point was that it isn’t always necessarily that straightforward.
July 31st, 2007 at 12:20 pm
John, not everyone falls into that one-size-fits-all approach. For some, it’s a mutually enjoyable experience. It doesn’t have to be a tool; it can be *fun*. Besides, if the man is submissive, why would the woman have to be manipulative like that rather than being honest and actually communicating? And it may come as a shock, but some dommes actually like giving the sub orgasms.
September 6th, 2007 at 2:53 pm
I disagree with the last two paragraphs. IMO, the whole submission is driven by the sub’s erotic feelings. When these are temporarily lessened by orgasm, the submissive attitude lessens as well.
December 25th, 2007 at 12:30 am
A male chastity device is very important in an FLR, i ought to know, my Dominant Wife of 10 years has kept me locked in one since before our wedding. As john said, my orgasm is a privilege that is earned, usually i get to have one every 4-6 weeks, but occasionally when i haven’t been the submissive my Wife demands, i’ve had to go up to 4 months without an orgasm. Talk about behavior modification. And while i agree with F-P about orgasm diminishing submissiveness, the submissiveness quickly returns when i am locked back up in the CB-3000 immediately after cleaning up after my orgasm, knowing that the next one is dependent on my Wife and Her evaluation of my behavior. This is highly erotic for both my Wife and me, She relishes having this control over me, i love that She has that complete control over me and my orgasms, and we wouldn’t have it any other way.
May 5th, 2008 at 8:14 pm
I like making Joscelin come (I love my lover’s orgasms), and I like not letting him come. It’s all good.
I find he is a bit more ardent when he hasn’t come in a little while, and a bit space-seeking right after orgasm, but none of that is too strange. I bristle at the thought of doing orgasm control for some ulterior motive like making someone more attentive. I like it for its own sake.
May 5th, 2008 at 8:26 pm
Um, isn’t it a well-known, biologically supported fact that men experience a chemical “drop” after an orgasm, which easily explains the “rude” and “lazy” behavior, and which is quite temporary, lasting at most ten to fifteen minutes, and has nothing at all to do with SAM-like behavior?
Why am I the first person on this comment log to point that out?
May 6th, 2008 at 9:07 am
Yes, the “drop” does happen, and it is hormonal, but it’s not an excuse to be rude. It’s real, but it’s not an excuse to treat others badly. Just because someone’s hormones are “off”, that doesn’t give that person carte blanche to be nasty, whether we’re talking about post-orgasm drop or pms.
May 6th, 2008 at 9:16 am
If I remember correctly orgasms cause the release of prolactin and that chemical is the culprit.
How a guy behaves right after an orgasm depends on many things: his character, the nature of the relationship, how demanding his day has been, his overall health.
June 6th, 2008 at 4:18 pm
Without reservation, I agree.
When my wife has controlled my infrequent orgasm, I have been attentive, interested, alert. Absolutely.
June 8th, 2008 at 7:39 am
Speaking fom experience, I wanted to add a different twist. I have been using cyproterone - a medication that drastically reduces testosterone. it is far superior to any other anti androgen. I use between 12 to 25 mg per day and my testosterone measures out at between 17 and 40, which is remarkably low. I am able to orgasm but my genital equiment does not work like it used to. I would not be able to reach or enter a natal female’s genitalia because there is no erection. But greater than any of this - my attitude does not leave me with any desire to do so. My desire is for relationship and intimacy but sex itself not very attractive. I believe many sub males would really enjoy and benefit from this approach it validates their desire for intimacy without all the impatient, inappropriate misbehavior. Cyproterone is available online costs around 67.00 for a 90 day supply.
June 8th, 2008 at 1:18 pm
I agree with roo-roo on this one (that shouldn’t be a surprise to anyone who knows us both).
You don’t “make” anyone do anything they don’t want to do. You can’t “make” a woman dominate you and you can’t “make” a man a better submissive by orgasm control. Yes, you can force people to the point where they will go through the motions, but we are talking about safe, sane and consensual here. Forcing people to your will is a sickness.
MCDs are toys, not tools. At my age enforced chastity is meaningless. I don’t have “the urge” to have an orgasm. I have them when I want them. But even in my earlier days, it should have been enough for Mrs. Mule to say, “don’t do it” (provided we agreed that this is a game we want to play) — being physically restrained is no challenge, controlling myself mentally - that’s the real challenge. Who do I love more, Mrs. Mule or me?
There is, no doubt, a physiological reaction that happens after ejaculation. However based on what I am reading, the reaction must differ greatly from man to man.
For me post-orgasmic reactions are that I feel very “warm and cuddly” and to an extent giddy. I am physically drained. Yes, I could jump up and run 5 miles (barring my bum knee) but I also feel like I just ran 5 miles. Feeling lazy or rude just isn’t there.
June 18th, 2008 at 9:56 am
Maybe it’s just me, but I never was one to fall asleep after orgasm. To me it revitalizes, usually. I want to get up and go! Then again, back when I was younger and smoked pot I was never one to sit around and be high, I usually would start cleaning or go out for a walk or do SOMETHING!
Anyway, for us OC/OD is my kink. My wife has fun with it, but I think as long as she was getting off as much as she wanted she wouldn’t care whether I came or not. She has admitted that she enjoys making me cum sometimes, so I usually don’t go longer than 2 or 3 weeks without, but honestly at that point I’m getting off on not cumming, so when my wife tells me to cum it’s actually a submissive act for me to do it. At least, that’s how I feel about it currently. I find that my feeling about control/denial evolve and change as time goes on.
June 27th, 2008 at 3:31 pm
My dominant wife and I have been living a femdom lifestyle for 35 years (as of this coming August). She pretty much calls all the shots in every aspect of our life and relationship. Things have changed and evolved over the years, but not the basics. Even from the first, she was not into penis/vagina sex and except for when she wanted our (two) children, I have not been permitted this.
She is, and has always been more into oral sex and various toys. At first, she was not averse to giving me a hand job, but that has changed over the years. With the advent of PCs and the internet, she has changed her outlook on what a relationship should be. She decides what I do in our normal daily routines, what chores or duties I must keeep up on a regular basis, and literally anythig that comes up unexpectedly.
I am now in chastity (Loris tube #6 with PA security) and am so used to it now that I don’t even think about so-called “normal sex” anymore. Sex for her is what she wishes, when she wishes, and for how long she wishes. I am allowed occasional “releases”, but only on her whim and when she decides. Ususally it entails removeal of my tube and a quick application of a vibrator/massager to my flaccid penis. I am usually on my hands and knees and there is a saucer or bowl under me. Ejaculation is almost always within 15-20 seconds and then I have to immediately lick everything up. The tube goes right back on.
I am so conditioned to this that I can’t envision any other lifestyle, especially at our age now.
August 3rd, 2008 at 6:18 pm
Sounds familiar it is good tohear how your Wifes sexuality has become yours.We as males should look first and foremost to our lovers pleasure.
It seems though that She finds your sexual needs a chore and that She and now you find it convenient and practical to spend only 15-20 seconds on your orgasm.
However I am sure there are many more Womyn who find prolonging and teasing and generally driving their men wild with lust more fulfilling.It is really down to our Womyn to decide what is best for all of us in the relationship.
Your work around the home might be more important and thus extended play with your genitals might impinge upon it.She is wise about both your needs.