Lately I have opened myself up to Buddhism and I’m exploring quite a few concepts. Two of which are patience and control.
I wish to have a satisfying, harmonious and healthy relationship within 24/7 domination and submission and I have been on a quest to find ways to develop this.
Without getting into a debate over religion, I would like to offer what I have learned, so that others might find some insight into their issues on patience and control within a D/s 24/7 relationship( with the issues focusing on the non-sexual aspects).
I have often found a lack of patience from both myself and my submissive’s behaviour. It can show up in the form of wanting to pursue BDSM right away or wanting the other to bend to my will, etc.. Lack of patience has always created an issue. Quite simply if one lives in the “here and now”, we will not cause ourselves anxiety, fear and with it – a lack of patience when we are “futurizing” things. Therefore if the focus is on the present, lack of patience is less likely to bite us because, we are only in that moment and not in wait.
I have often spoke of self control exhibitied by the submissive and/or dominant and how having self control makes the sub and dom a better partner. Now, I’m of the belief that self control is just holding back from emotions and thoughts and is only a mask of what we really feel. Better it to feel inner peace and harmony so that no control is required in the first place. Inner peace and clarity will eventually bring what one wants and seeks which doesn’t require “control”. I believe there are ways of getting one’s needs met without having to “control” the other but while still maintaining a 24/7 d/s relationship. (Lady Sun thinks to herself she loves 24/7 D/s so much and it can be a tricky dance which takes much practice, skill, dedication, knowledge and love, to accomplish effectively and beautifully.)
I would also like to add that pseudo control and lack of patience might be quite helpful, enticing and joyful within a setting where it works.
(Old Usenet Post)