For me romantic love and submission are hopelessly intertwined, in fact I can safely say they are one and the same. That is not say I cannot enjoy a good whipping from a recently met acquaintance, but I believe that is more masochistic than submissive.
In that love, romantic or otherwise has an element of putting another’s likes, interests, satisfaction ahead of one’s own, of submerging one’s self, it is submissive. Generally love is not looked at and defined as submission. The emotional rituals of courting in a vanilla relationships are very similar to those establishing a D/s relationship.
However, in a vanilla relationship one doesn’t get all the wonderful kinky stuff. Too often people define D/s in terms of bondage, whips, chains and etc, but those are a fun expansion of one’s sex life. If dominance and submission were not a part of our emotional and psychological make up we would not have individuals who identify themselves as sub or dom.
My guess is if someone finds romantic love incompatible with submission, for him, at the current time, the two are incompatible. My problem is I’ve always found romantic love impossible without submission.
(Old newsgroup posting.)