Female Led Relationships

Barbara Ehrenreich commenting on a New York Times article by Susan Faludi:

I share Faludi’s glee — up to a point. Surely no one will ever dare argue that women lack the temperament for political combat. But by running a racially-tinged campaign, lying about her foreign policy experience, and repeatedly seeming to favor McCain over her Democratic opponent, Clinton didn’t just break through the “glass floor,” she set a new low for floors in general, and would, if she could have got within arm’s reach, have rubbed the broken glass into Obama’s face.

…

Hillary Clinton smashed the myth of innate female moral superiority in the worst possible way — by demonstrating female moral inferiority. We didn’t really need her racial innuendos and free-floating bellicosity to establish that women aren’t wimps. As a generation of young feminists realizes, the values once thought to be uniquely and genetically female — such as compassion and an aversion to violence — can be found in either sex, and sometimes it’s a man who best upholds them.

Hillary’s Gift to Women

(I’m not one to argue with what people are searching Google for.)

Which is more sadistic: plain enforced chastity or ruined orgasms.

Enforced chastity simple means that you aren’t allowed to have an orgasm (which may or may not include orgasmless ejaculation via prostate massage, aka, male milking).

Or …

Ruined orgasms: a man is brought to the initial stage of orgasm but in such a way that it isn’t satisfying. I think the most common technique I’ve seen described is to remove the pressure and friction on the penis the moment the orgasm begins. So the neurological thrill is minimal.

Which is more sadistic?

Sounds like a femmdom fantasy from a female led relationships blog:

… says [Elizabeth] Halverson made him feel like a “houseboy.” … He says she asked him, “Do you want to worship me from near or afar?”

And:

Another time, she allegedly had her husband sworn in so that she could ask him under oath whether he had completed chores at home.

Judge allegedly napped, made bailiff rub her feet

This is not a very busy site but readership has picked up recently. That is why on Sunday and Tuesday I reran a random batch of early posts. Regrettably weblog format sites live and die by their front page.

Various aspects of my current life militate against my having adequate time to invest here. And honestly some of my other sites are greater importance to me, e.g., Fetish Meme. So I solicit you the readers and visitors to make suggestions or even contributions.

Are there topics and themes you’d like to see raised here? Then leave a comment on this entry or use the contact form.

Alternately you could write something for me to publish. Even if you have a blog guest posting is a common way to draw traffic to your own blog. You can use the contact form to submit a note or essay. I won’t mind even if your viewpoint is antithetical to mine. I’m more drawn to stimulating than persuading.

My own feelings about the practices of feminization and sissyfication are very mixed.

There seems to be an indigestible core of sexism in making anything feminine or womanly humiliating if it is done or worn by a male. Why should wearing a dress or lingerie be a mark of inferiority, a chastisement or even humbling?

But I do understand that for some men who are barely able to deal with parts of themselves it may offer a limited release. Men who

• Experience some degree of gender dysphoria or are closeted transvestites
• Men who are not able to cope with their sexual orientation, cannot accept that they are bisexual and have find men sexually attractive.

Having to sit to urinate as a form of submission strikes me as especially laughable. I often do that so that I can read at the same time.

Are you a sissy?

Being forced to fellate another man is a common female led sex fantasy.

For men anyway. And a few women.

If nothing else it lets closeted bisexual men express their real, hidden sexuality.

Does forced cocksucking excite you? Repel you?

Unable to establish an ongoing real time relationship with a dominant woman some men participate in cyber female domination. Some of these relationships are very passionate and sincere. Though, of course, some guys are as fickle and faithless in the virtual life as in the flesh.

Have you ever considered an online only romance with a nonprofessional dominant woman? Even if you didn’t succeed how did you go about trying?

Have you done so? How did it work out? Is it still going on. If you are married or have a vanilla female lover does she know?

The first femdom novel, Venus in Furs featured cuckoldry.

For many men being cuckolded is the supreme submissive fantasy. But some of those who get to live it divorce their wives. Or their wives leave them.

If the lore that women are better and finer creatures is it any surprise that many would have no desire to pursue this?

The trauma is too awful.

How do you feel about female led infidelity?

Naturally since female supremacist Elise Sutton is credited with creating the term any site dealing with Loving Female Authority must make reference to her.

Quite possibly Sutton is the most influential woman in the history of female domination. Her book Female Domination was the first widely available work on what is often called Femdom. (Though some would say that the best thing about the book is the Sardax cover.)

Sutton attempted to validate her espousal of female superiority through the use of anecdotes, sociological speculation and dubious bits of history. Aping scholarship without achieving it.

At the time of the books release Female Domination was a great awakening for many women (and a source of countless fantasies for even more men.) Commentary on her second book has remained skimpy.

Since many dominant women find her depictions of female domination and male submission not very loving her influence has waned in recent times. Works by Janet Hardy, Claudia Varrin and Midori - aside from authors of leather and general D/s texts - provide more appealing and useable examples of power exchange within romantic partnerships.

I read that Gloria Brame said the professional dominatrices are a plague. I guess like the locusts Moses sent against the ancient Egyptians but in this case money making women devouring the fields of femdom.

I can’t imagine Gloria Brame making a generalization like that. Besides the place where I saw the remark provided no context, no all important details (not faulting the person).

I doubt many people engaged in BDSM or the like - since many people abhor that acronym - regard say Mistress Matisse as a ravaging force. Not to mention SadoMasoKitten and other women who dominate for cash (and perhaps fun).

Regardless of the annoyingly necessary disclaimers professional dominatrices are sex workers. They provide a service for remuneration. And all service providers of any stripe can be divided into those who are:

• Ethical
• Dishonest

• Talented
• Capable
• Incompetent

Perhaps what Gloria was thinking of is the rapid spread of women who go online and declare themselves dominants. Most notably the money mistresses and financial dominatrices who are under the illusion that easy wealth will be theirs if they say “ha ha wanker” often enough.

While Princess Melissa Pentauk at Humiliatrix may use that sort of patter there’s more hard work than many would think in successfully creating such an enterprise.

The faux-dominants who think putting up donate buttons is an easy path the money will quickly find that getting someone to click on them isn’t just plucking a sucker. The women that stay in the trade and profit by it provide a good deal more.

People in the loving female authority subculture have other objections to professional dominatrices but that is a matter for another time.

Doesn’t this strike you as about the silliest advice ever?

While you may not be able to convince the woman that you love to engage in a female on top power exchange relationship you might manage to persuade her to play.

Kinky erotic games are appearing more and more often in the mass media. And the depictions aren’t always unfavorable.

Your girlfriend or wife may be able to enjoy you kissing her feet, giving you a light spanking, maybe even wrapping some rope about your body.

But if – like religious fanatic who has just been converted – try to completely change the basis of your relationship and how the two of you live together you probably won’t get anything but a miserable mate.

There’s nothing wrong with play, don’t be a bore or frighten her. Talk to her about having fun.

Some F/m blogs make me giggle. Here’s an example from one wanker who has been writing about it for years but never meets a woman:

For example, if you are in the produce section of a market, offer to push her cart. Offer to select some oranges for her if you are knowledgeable in this arena. Find some expertise within yourself and offer it to her gently; gently and with discretion. We all find ourselves in supermarkets, gas stations, and car washes. Develop skills that address these potential meeting areas and more. Be ready for real life. Be ready for your moment. A Dominant Lady will appreciate your savvy, social acumen, and offerings.

Sounds plausible to some guys I guess. Sounds like a pest to many women I’m sure.

From looking at blogs and forums it seems that most men and women who write about female led, loving female authority relationships are married. Regardless of whether they are in such a relationship or wish they were.

The phraseology doesn’t seem to have much purchase among those in, say, college?

Is there a reason for this to be an age related desire? Why don’t you see boys and girls thinking in these terms and contexts?