I have written about aspects of my life with Dolly before, but things between us are subtly changing and I would value very much the thoughts, comments and suggestions of both men and women reading this on the situation now and on where it might lead. We used to argue a great deal, but mentally I admit that I SURRENDERED to Dolly completely some weeks ago. Day-to-day things between us are much much easier now. It is as if there is nothing to argue about anymore, we just do things Dolly’s way. If she bosses me around I do what she says instead of complaining about her tone or resisting her wishes. I have to hold my tongue sometimes, but I am becoming used to that.
I told her this to her face recently, saying that she was the boss at home and that I would always try to do things her way. She looked at me with her bright blue eyes and clearly liked my submission a lot – as if I had finally finally realized the way we obviously had to live .
She prefers me not to orgasm often. She says that she has noticed that if I squirt I am less attentive and less obliging to her generally, but she has also noticed that if I am deprived too much I become difficult, so she says she tries to measure things to keep me sweet.
- Only, she does not seem to realize that men want to have sex often; and she seems to rate my needs in line with hers – and she has always been able to go a long time without needing sex.
Since 1st Jan 2006 for instance, she has had SEX with me ONLY 4 times, on 8th Feb, 19th March, 5th May and 6th May (obviously a sexy time of month) – about once every 7 weeks.
She has allowed me to SQUIRT just one other time, on 18th June; although she tolerated two other accidental squirts, on 21st Jan and 5th Feb – she was there and she was thrashing my bottom when it unavoidably “happened”.
She reminds me to be faithful to her and good and restrained generally by keeping me in “frilly panties” as she calls them. That is, she discovered a while ago that I was fascinated by girls’ underwear and I now wear panties daily as a reminder of her control over me and as a physically restraining factor in bed. Firm pairs of panties keep the male parts more or less strapped in, and less likely to protrude in bed and bother Dolly. They are also a reminder of who is in charge of the home and sexual part of our relationship – the female.
At times, when full of lust in the night, I used to cling to her in bed and slowly grind myself against her with frustration and passion, but she has now FORBIDDEN that and any “grinding” is now against the mattress only, quietly, or purely mental.
Dolly doesn’t seem to be in the mood for sex with me much (usually too tired), but keeps me “calm” by way of regular severe hairbrushings on my bare bottom, panties pulled down by her, lying on the bed in front of her – a little thrill for me in lieu of sex she says, and usually in lieu of squirting too.
Very very rarely does she allow me to squirt on these occasions, and they finish with Dolly showing me in the mirror my severely reddened bottom and sometimes upper thighs too in the mirror, with my part standing hard and straight, ignored by her, except our of curiosity to see whether there is any moisture at the tip…
I find myself begging for more morsels of sexual attention, and Dolly may sigh with annoyance, but “allow me” to kiss her panties – more often just on the back over her deliciously curvy bottom, and sometimes on the front too, where the cotton covers her mysterious pussy which I have not even seen for many many weeks, maybe two months or more… She lifts up her nightdress just enough for me to kneel by her feet and perform my acts of worship and restrained lust before telling me, “That’s enough.” Her panties are invariably white cotton, like mine (she likes me to wear the same styles that she does) and plain or with intricate feminine patterns which I love. My eyes seek out the folds in he panties which indicate that her pussy cleft is just beneath, trying to kiss her panties sexually enough that she might become aroused and we might find ourselves making passionate love on our bed.
In my deprived state, kissing even her bottom through her panties becomes a HUGE thrill for me and for my unsatiated desire for her.
Other favours she may grant from time to time include stroking my bits through my panties before she turns over and goes to sleep, curled up facing the other direction; or tweaking my nipples enough to make me pant with desire and buck against her like a wild horse – before she similarly ignores me.
I have read about the “SUBZONE,” and this is where I must be when Dolly treats me like this. I enter a mental zone in which I will do anything for her, gladly, willingly and with love. My mind and body wallow as if in a warm swamp of love, lust and tenderness. Part of me wants to orgasm immediately to relieve the stresses of frustration, but part of me luxuriates in the waves of dreamlike repressed desire, avoiding the sudden halt which an orgasm would unavoidably bring.
The next day, I will spend the whole day or the next days thinking of Dolly and wondering whether she might grant me any favours that evening or whether I will merely tuck myself up in bed, panty-clad and hugging my firm, unyielding woman, my bits hard in my underwear, my mind luxuriating in repressed lust.
I now wear the apron more than Dolly does, as I do more and more chores around the house and offer to do things while she relaxes with the newspaper or a magazine.
I last saw and entered Dolly’s pussy 7 weeks ago, 6th May. She won’t even let me see it these days (and she wears underwear in bed, so I do not get glimpses). “I’m not like a picture in a magazine,” she said when I gently asked her on Tuesday if I could just SEE and maybe kiss her pussy.
I last squirted nearly 2 weeks ago and I have no idea when she may allow me to squirt again. “You will have to wait and see!” she replied when I last asked. It may be a week or it may be a month, or it may be even longer. I truthfully have no idea. If I ask, I may annoy her. If I do not ask, she may think I am not interested. It is a difficult balance to find.
I love Dolly with all my heart and with all my desire. But I do not know what she will do with me, and whether she will come to want sex more often.
Some months ago I was concerned she might be seeing another man and that this was the reason she was less interested in sex. I never completely got to the bottom of that question, but I feel that now at least she only has me, but is enjoying keeping my sexuality under control in this way.
Do many women follow this path? Do many men “surrender” as I have done? Our arguments have disappeared, so have I found the answer to a happy relationship or have I merely given in to a dominant, bossy woman who likes me wrapped around her finger?
Where will we go next? Perhaps she knows. I do not. That in itself is a thrill for me.
Originally posted 2013-03-08 21:08:36.