Communicating Without Seeming Demanding
A man has been confessing to a woman who loves him that he has submissive desires. But he’s feeling inhibited about communicating his feelings.
Maybe he doesn’t want to tell you about his fantasies, because he’ll appear to be demanding things from you? have you heard from topping from the bottom? basically it means that you are doing things to him and aren’t really in control. he is by the way he brings things around to what he wants.
Also, might want to consider that he wants you doing things to him that *you* like. That way he knows you are really interested and not just doing it for him. Plus, when things start flowing back and forth between you, it can be really tremendous. You do “x” to him.. it turns you on incredibly.. something you’ve always wanted to try with a guy but couldn’t.. but with HIM, you do it. Your eyes glow, you get wet and let him see your excitement. Even if he wasn’t that into it to begin with.. Knowing HE brought your excitement into being is a real hot thing. His submission got you off. So, he gets off on it. That can’t be faked or orchestrated.
While we all know of the demanding men. There are also submissive guys who struggle with invited and welcome self-expression for honorable reasons.
Good advice for anyone just beginning to explore consensual erotic power exchange:
Take your time? Do something simple. Something you like the thought of. Maybe talk about it with him? Maybe keep it to yourself? Don’t make a long scene to begin with. You are both going to be riding on your nerves. Whatever you decide.. take time to be with each other when it’s over. do anything from sit on the couch and watch a show together, to cuddle and talk about the whole experience. Given time, you will find out what is just perfect for YOU. all the advice in the world from others can’t come close to that.
Old usenet post.